My husband of twenty years is gone

Christina - posted on 10/23/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Hi guys
My husband of twenty years got caught by me and my daughter on the phone to another woman he then claimed he hadn't loved me in about ten years but I can promise you nothing ever changed we did everything together so he upped and left at 11 pm last Tuesday and moved in with her ! All his friends are laughing at him as this woman's nickname is the tour de France (apologies) when he left he swore to the children the was only leaving cause he didn't love me but we found out the next day this had been going on for 6 months or more in that time we had shared a bed went on a brilliant family holiday weekends away and continued to do everything together I'm mystified but I'm still convinced that if he hadn't been caught he would still be here . At least he didn't leave me for a younger model she is 10 years my senior and butt ugly He won't help with the mortgage and won't give me any money to help with the kids I'm stuck and don't know how to move forward not in a romantic sense ( as he was very abusive whilst drinking so I think I'm relieved) because he has broken my trust but in a financial sense where do I go from here? Sorry for rambling

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Raye - posted on 10/24/2014

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I agree with the others... you need to take him to court to get child and spousal support. Make sure you have copies of previous taxes filed to prove what he should be reporting as his income. If he's self employed, it will be more difficult for the court to get the money from him if he refuses to pay. But you fight for what is owed to you. Good luck.

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The - posted on 11/08/2014

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Yes it depends on where you live. Which she did not disclose what country she is in I was basing it on what a woman in the UNITED STATES of America can do. So I admit that my previous advice may not fully meet her needs.

The - posted on 11/08/2014

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IN REPLY TO JODI,,,,,,,,I was not using capitals to yell. I was using it for EMPHASIS so that certain things that were key would be easier to find for the person needing the information rather than having to reread the whole message to gain the info. So please understand that CAPITAL LETTERS do not necessarily mean that a person is YELLING!!!!....... If you notice yelling includes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! always if you are using CAPITAL LETTERS you must also add those to be YELLING!!!!!

Jodi - posted on 10/24/2014

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To The Truth: It depends where you live. Your advice isn't necessarily the only advice for everyone. You gave your advice. Not quite sure why you feel the need to yell at people who have given additional advice.

The - posted on 10/23/2014

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Like I said before I made a list of things for you to do and one is to go to SOCIAL SERVICES AND THE WELFARE OFFICE. They will also direct you to in steps in obtaining child support from your husband including the garnishing of his wages and he in some states can loose his drivers license for failure to pay as well as possibly go to jail. Stop mucking around and go to SOCIAL SERVICES and the WELFARE OFFICE.

Christina - posted on 10/23/2014

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Thanks the truth it's hard I sent him message about child support this morning and he says he has no money so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place x

Jodi - posted on 10/23/2014

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Get a lawyer. He has an obligation to his children, including a financial obligation. You need to establish custody, visitation and child support.

The - posted on 10/23/2014

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1. Contact Social Services, Welfare, and possibly an attorney to see if you can file for child support since he has left the house and abandoned you and the children and has moved out. As well as seeing what assistance you may qualify for such as food stamps, bill money, medical care benefits. etc....
2. Whose name is the mortgage in?
3. What every has happened do not put your husband down in front of your children. Simply state to them that their father may love them but does not know how to show it properly and that anything else is for him to explain to them. That you love them and will do all that you can to make things safe and well with you and them.
4. Forgive your husband for all he has done to you and your children for your sake not his. Ask God to bless him and the other woman with His will in the situation and leave it at that. If you stop speaking about her and just leave it at that and go one with what you need to take care of then you will find that God will Champion you concerning the both of them. But you have to decide to not say anything more bad concerning them to others and just state facts that you are working to make a safe and healthy life for you and your children. When they come up in your mind or if someone asks you about it just say God bless them is all I can say and go on. God can handle things so much better than we can and believe me God can also make sure that you are blessed far more by letting Him do so. May God bless you and your family according to His will for your Life.

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