Kristen - posted on 06/29/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
Ok, so we've been married almost 3 years, we just had our son in September and are expecting our second son this September. We've had our ups and downs like most couples do, but lately it seems to be mostly downs and not really any ups. When we first met, I was going through a nasty divorce with my now ex who I practically had to care for like a child. Not much for husband material, I'm very glad I kicked him to the curb! When we first started dating, he would take the reins a lot and honestly, it was a huge relief for me. For almost five years I had to the adult and decide everything, even down to the very details cause my ex couldn't do anything on his own. Having someone else do it for me was like this giant weight being taken from me, I gladly let him do it!
After we became engaged, I was finally feeling a bit more like myself and was ready to take some of the reins back. He didn't seem real keen on letting any of it go, so I decided to try a more subtle approach and kinda just wean myself into it where he didn't feel like he was giving anything up. (my husband can be a bit overprotective, but it was the way he raised. good ol' Kansas boy!) well, once I got pregnant with our first son, I started getting impatient with taking on some the responsibilities and decisions in our marriage and decided that it was time to just take a couple things onto my plate and that he would just have to learn to let go. He has fought me every step of the way.
I ended up going regularly to a therapist to see if maybe I was approaching things in the wrong way and she told me I have anxiety issues and prescribed me meds to help with it. I'll admit they did something, but I didn't much care for it. I'd have to say it made me feel like I just didn't care about things as much and went about my days in a fog; I felt like a robot. I wasn't as anxious, but I didn't feel like me anymore. So I stopped taking them. Ever since he found out I stopped taking them he has been hard pressed on me going back on the meds. I finally got a straightforward answer out of him a couple months ago as to what he thought they did for me, why they supposedly "helped". The answer he gave me still sticks with me, "you argued with me much less"...... I really didn't like that, and it still irks me that that's the reason he wants me to take them again. It seems to me he prefers me to be more complaisant, more passive. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me to stand up for myself, my feelings, my opinions. I'm one of those people that I will only argue a point if I feel strongly about it, not just for the hell of it or out of boredom.
Am I just overreacting or do I have a valid argument here?