my husband sex in other girl then the girl get pregnant

L..J.. - posted on 06/15/2013 ( 26 moms have responded )

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in 5years of our marraige my husband commit a sin, he had sex with other girl then that mistake have a result the girl get pregnant but he's not sure if he's the father or not because ever since i did'not get pregnant even we wanted it. his friend told him if he knows that the girl he meet is pregnant, i need to accept him again or i need to give up our marraige life..but he said he want to be with me for the rest of his life and he love me so much..and i love him too..what should i do? please help me..im only 23 years old and my husband is 33. thank u

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/20/2013

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He's full of excuses!! I do believe a person can cheat and it was a mistake that won't happen again, but that person would accept responsibility and not try to blame their partner for the infidelity. It doesn't sit right with me either that he doesn't want you to meet this girl. It sounds like he's still covering something up. There is a possibility that this girl has no clue he's married and thinks she's in a relationship with your husband. I wouldn't think of forgiveness until everything was out in the open and you have a honest grasp on the situation. How can you decide what you want to do if your not sure of all the details? Marriage is about love and forgiveness, but taking that vow does not warrant your partner to do as he pleases without regard to your feelings. Your in for a sad life if you stay with someone who blames you for his mistakes and expects you to just deal with all the consequences of his behavior. Have you gotten tested for STDs? You could easily end up with an std including some that could kill you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/16/2013

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I would not be with a man that cheated on me. He did it once, he will do it again. he is a liar. Also, if this baby is his and you decide to stay with him, are you going to be able to accept his child?

If he loved you, he would not have had sex with another women.

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Nuala - posted on 06/23/2013

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Of course you love him, because that is what we women do. We try and try to make it better. We think it is our fault. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. And for God's sake stay away from that crazy other woman. It is not about her, it is about your husband.

Yes I went through this kind of thing twice. The first husband physically abused me when he was drunk and I stayed with him because i believed in my marriage and my catholic priest told me alcoholism is a sickness and I promised to stay with my husband in sickness and in health. I finally escaped from that toxic poisonous relationship because of what I realized the sounds of him half killing me was so frightening to them,.

Second one, loved him, he never abused me physically, but he sure hurt me with his any affairs. I was so pretty, everyone told me I was, but he made me feel so ugly because of the affairs. We went to many many counsellors. He finally had an affair with my so called best friend" an ugly witch, 10 years older than me, but with money. So then he admitted the affair and said he wanted to stay in my house until she was "ready to make a commitment". Isn't that crazy? So I changed the locks on all the doors so he could not get back in my house. I met an absolutely wonderful man who tells me every day how beautiful I am. I love him because he deserves it. There is a man out there for you who will love you unconditionally and make you feel good about yourself. You are too young to put up with this kind of treatment. Don't let another day go by. You can try counselling, but it did not work with my ex because he was a habitual cheater and lyer.

God Bless you honey. Move on NOW.

L..J.. - posted on 06/22/2013

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honestly, i made a mistake also before, but i never having an affair with someone,shall we say i didn't have sex with other guy but we have communication and we saw each other then he caught me talking to this guy and then we argue, just only i entertain other guy that he dont know.now, both of us decide to forget about what happen about the past and continue our life to get back our marraige happy..

i really need to get away in this relationship??

Nuala - posted on 06/22/2013

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I just have to ask: Is he cold to you?? Yes!! Does he disrespect you?? Yes!!
Have you ever asked yourself "What if I (accidently) had an affair and got (accidently pregnant)". "How would that make my husband feel?" He would be totally devastated as you are honey.

Anybody feel this same way for this poor young girl?

God Bless you darling, get away and get on with your life.

L..J.. - posted on 06/22/2013

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hi ms, nuala, you've been there twice? what decision did you do? did you leave your husband that hurts you?

i really admit i made a mistake also, but that mistake is like, im intertaining some other guy and get close to this guy but nothing happens between two of us..we're close because i share to him my problems and he share his problems too....

honestly at this moment, i'm a little bit confused what decision will i take. because i love my husband and i want to be with him forever but im afraid if he will do it again to me. but he promised me he will never do it again because he regret all the mistake he did and he confest also in our PASTOR..because we're a christian....know we're trying all thing to workout our relationship.....trying to get back the trust...

thank you so much.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...

Nuala - posted on 06/22/2013

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You poor baby!!!: First of all, look in the mirror and GET A GRIP!! Pray to
God and He will help you. I have been there before twice believe it or not. I am now married to a most wonderful kind, decent, honest, Christian man. It took me a long time to get my self esteem back, but the best revenge in getting on with your life and finding a nice kind man (when you are ready) and getting on with the rest of your life. The worst thing you can do is to spend even one other day obsessing about this man who hurt you so much.
I
So glad for you that you have friends on line to help you. That was not an option for me at the worst time in my life. Pick yourself up and get on with your life.

Love and God's Blessings to you:

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/22/2013

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L.J., you seem very confused . You change your mind about what to do every time someone has a different opinion. This forum is great to help you vent and hear others opinions, but you need to decide what you want to do with your life. You must take charge of your own life and truly think of what you want for your future. Maybe try taking some time to stay with a friend or relative to contemplate your life. Sometimes it's hard to evaluate things until you get away from the situation for a little bit. You have every right to decide to stay or leave but you must make sure that it's YOUR decision and not based on advice solely from people you don't know and that have no clue what your life is really like. Your probably still in shock from everything and a little break from your husband might give you the clarity to make a huge decision that will impact your whole life. Remember you are a person who is worthwhile of love and don't let anyone treat you any less. I'm worried for you bc you honestly seem to be all over the place. Maybe you should not ask anyone for advice from here on out and only go by what your heart is telling you. Good luck

L..J.. - posted on 06/21/2013

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thank you so much for the advice, yes, i will do that..for the sake of our marraige, i will gave him a second chance to start all over again... i really need to be strong to face all of the challenges will come into our life...

thank you so much for all the advices that you share with me.
even in this kind of conversation i can think well and you message comfort me a lot.thank you so much..i will still continue update everything in here..GOD BLESS us all.

L..J.. - posted on 06/21/2013

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imvery depressed at tis moment, this morning i got the number of the girl, then i texted it, as if im the guy,(my husband) then while texting her i decided to meet the girl i texted him to meet me at the one place. she dont know that im the wife of my husband, then i meet here, we talk and the girl told me that she's not sure if my husband is the father of the child in her tummy because she had to boys having sex with her. then he admit to me that they have sex with my husband not only once but how many times..when i saw the girl i dont know what to do, my nerves are really shaking,and the bad thing i have a knife in my bag, im so thankfull that i control my self, if not i dont know what can i did to the girl..and she said, she dont care if my husband will support her baby or not..she's an slut girl, i know im not a perfect but why my husband did this to me??????



now i can say i cant live with this kind of person anymore... all he told me and he confest to me are all lies.... it's too much pain he cause to me..so i think i need to get out in this kind of situation...he cheated me, he lies to me, i believe that all he said to me are all lies... even it's so painfull for me but i think i need to move on.....not to suffer in this kind of relationship....



thank u so much for all the advices...

L..J.. - posted on 06/20/2013

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imvery depressed at tis moment, this morning i got the number of the girl, then i texted it, as if im the guy,(my husband) then while texting her i decided to meet the girl i texted him to meet me at the one place. she dont know that im the wife of my husband, then i meet here, we talk and the girl told me that she's not sure if my husband is the father of the child in her tummy because she had to boys having sex with her. then he admit to me that they have sex with my husband not only once but how many times..when i saw the girl i dont know what to do, my nerves are really shaking,and the bad thing i have a knife in my bag, im so thankfull that i control my self, if not i dont know what can i did to the girl..and she said, she dont care if my husband will support her baby or not..she's an slut girl, i know im not a perfect but why my husband did this to me??????

now i can say i cant live with this kind of person anymore... all he told me and he confest to me are all lies.... it's too much pain he cause to me..so i think i need to get out in this kind of situation...he cheated me, he lies to me, i believe that all he said to me are all lies... even it's so painfull for me but i think i need to move on.....not to suffer in this kind of relationship....

thank u so much for all the advices...

Nuala - posted on 06/20/2013

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Leave the S.O.B. If you did it once he will do it again. He is only sorry he got caught. You are way too young to stay with a cheater and hope he won't do it again. I know from experience. And what is he doing with a tramp like that anyway?

Patience3713 - posted on 06/20/2013

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If you love him and you are willing to live with his mistake, then its up to you to take him back. Just remember that a child is involved, a child thats not your own. A child that if you accept him back isnt the cause but the result of his unfaithfulness. A child that is now going to be apart of your live. If you can live with that and you love him then take him back. I am a big fan of Love and family, sometimes its good to forgive it heals the soul.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/20/2013

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"that's why i also ask him that he loved me why he did it...he answered it because he's in the situation of temptation.."

so in every face of temptation (which there will be plenty) he is going to have an "accident"...then blame you for it. The reason he doesn't want you to meet this girl is because they are still probably having an affair. he is a liar, and I would bet money he is still in contact with this girl. Christian or not, it has nothing to do with him cheating on you. Wake up.

A - posted on 06/20/2013

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I'm sorry but he cheated because you two fought? I am sure in your marriage you are going to fight several times, is he going to cheat every time as well? Are you going to have to walk on egg shells around him so he won't cheat again? That is no way to have a marriage. And if you don't think you can accept the child- I would move on personally because it wouldn't be fair to you or this new baby. The baby did nothing wrong at all.

He doesn't want you to come with him when he visits the child or the mother? To me that would be a red flag- but it is your decision.

L..J.. - posted on 06/19/2013

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hi, thank you for the advice, but i just want to ask, u've been there before in this situation, i wanted to know if did you FORGIVE and ACCEPT your husband again even he CHEATED to you and having a baby with other girl?? im so depressed at this moment but i dont want to give up because i know giving up is not the way to solve our problems...thank u so much for your advice. im too shy to share my problems to others so i try to this site circle of moms even this is my first time but it helps a lot for me..thank you..GOB BLESS to your family...

Ashley - posted on 06/19/2013

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Honey, I was in your same exact positon before. First all even though it may be hard and he is blaming you, please dont let that get you down and DO NOT blame yourself! For awhile I felt like the blame as well. I know you may have argued etc, whatever you guys did but it still gave him no reason! I myself was prob not 100% either and my actions may have "led" him to turn to someone else but it was his own fault for falling weak!! I ALWAYS said if my husband or bf ever cheated I would leave him & not think twice...Well, I said that until I was faced with the situation myself and I have been with my partner 11 years now, married 2 and he is the half that makes me whole & I do love him so yes we stayed together and things are going great. We didnt take counsling...main thing is focus on what in your heart you feel like may have pushed him away from you, if its to much arguing try less, and more talking, if its not time spent together make it a point to spend time, whatever it is see where you can improve that way if it doesnt work sweetie you cant say that YOU didnt TRY!!! As far as the girl being prego... dont believe it just yet. When this happen to us the girl swore up and down she was prego and I am assuming just to try and keep my husband but turns out She wasnt she was just trying to do all she could to get him to leave me! Best wishes to you and just PRAY, PRAY, and pray some more, be all you can be, and it will work itslef out fine!!!

L..J.. - posted on 06/18/2013

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thank u for the advice.. before we had our counseling but not continues..because of busy schedules but now i want to do it continuesly because i know it is the best for us...i see that he's sincere for what he said but some other time i notice him he think so deep and i dont know what he's thinking..even at this point i really dont know if i can accept he's baby from other child..but that baby is not really sure if he's the father..but i told him that if he's going to talk to the girl i want to be there and if he visit the baby i also what to company him? is that correct? because he said that he dont what me to be there because it can cause me pain..i know it's so painfull for me to see them but i want to see what he's doing in his baby and to the girl...

L..J.. - posted on 06/18/2013

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thank u so much, now both of us decided to give another try to our marraige, because marraige is important to me as a christian, even it take so painfull for me but im willing to forgive him and give a chance for our relationship...i agree to have a counseling because i know it can help a lot for us..thank u//GOD BLESS...

Dra - posted on 06/18/2013

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Well he thinks he gots because of ur age difference 10yra so he can run game ...marriage is from.god and abomination.forgiveness in Christians..so ur willingly to forgive go head suggest marriage counseling god bless u both

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/18/2013

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He is giving you excuse after excuse, and you are still buying his lies.

Serve him with a choice of either marital counseling or divorce. No in betweens. If he is really sincere, he will go for counseling with you and resolve his wandering issues. If he will NOT go to counseling with you, you have your answer about his faithfulness to you and his dedication to your relationship, which will be he doesn't give two shits about how you feel and he's going to keep dipping his wick anywhere he pleases because you'll continue to buy his lies.

Do yourself a favor....get out or get him into counseling.

L..J.. - posted on 06/17/2013

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yes, he's blaming me for this accident..because those time he felt that im so cold to him, we argue, we fight for even a simply reason and he felt that i dont love him anymore, that's why he did it, but he said he regret all those things happen and all he wanted is me and to have our own baby and family....that's why i also ask him that he loved me why he did it...he answered it because he's in the situation of temptation..

now, im planning to apply job in abroad to avoid him and to forget the things happen to me...is this correct? but i do really love my husband so much...my mind is so ratlle right now...

thank u...

L..J.. - posted on 06/17/2013

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last night we have tym to talk about what happened, he told me that he won't do it again, because now all he wanted is to have a better family and he said that those things he did, he regret it and he did it because at those time he felt that im cold to him, every single momwnt we argue and fight for any small reason, i didn't show to him that i love him, that's why he's thinking that i dont love him anymore and those one night stand happen because one night while he's in the road driving he's motorcycle one of he's frind saw him then he ask to join them drinking, aftr they drink the two girls ride to him and the one girl he drop it by then the other girl lift to him then the girl also wanted to happen it...

i do really love my husband so much, but i really need to leave him or to give him a one last chance....? it so painfull for me to imagine this things happen...but now we both dont know if that child is really his the father, he asure me that they dont have any communication of this girl...

i really dont know what im going to do...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/17/2013

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Sooooo...he is blaming YOU for his cheating. And he is calling it an accident? What did his dick accidentally get hard while he was naked and she was....so what he tripped and landed directly inside of her? That is quite an elaborate accident.

The girl clearly was able to contact him and tell him about the baby so clearly this was NOT a simple one night stand. Chances are he has had more than one "accident" with this girl.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/17/2013

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Sex isn't "accidental". You have to be a participant, unless you're raped. So, what, your 'husband' is saying she raped him? Highly doubtful

Kick his ass to the curb. Especially if you are not sure that you could accept the child, because it is NOT the child's fault their father is a wanderer.

And, as Little miss said...He did it once, he'll do it again. It wasn't an accident, he wanted to have sex with someone other than his legal spouse.

L..J.. - posted on 06/16/2013

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but he's saying that it was an accidentally happen. he didn't mean it to do it. he said bcause we fight at that night so he did it..


i really dont know if i can accept the child or not...this happen so very painfull for me...

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