My husband starts a fight when I don't make him his lunch for work!!

Sharron - posted on 09/19/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Does anyone else have the same problem.....I am getting really sick of this....Most times I will make his lunch, to be honest it is just easier...but when I don't, )because I've been too busy running around like a headless chicken!) When I tell him he'll have to make it himself he always starts an argument, saying there is nothing to make and I'm selfish etc etc, the list goes on....So I end up losing it and telling him I'm not your Mother/keeper/skivvy etc etc.....Once things are smoothed over after a day or so we are fine, but we keep having the same re-occurring argument and it is driving me nuts!! Please help, and don;t say try and talk to him etc, as he really does not see my point of view, he says he works hard and is it too much to make him a lunch! Bare in mind of course, I do all the housework,cooking, and looking after the kids!! He is great in other ways and is a great father and is very generous but this is something that is always coming between us! PHEW glad I got that out in the open...lol

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Elfrieda - posted on 09/19/2012

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Is this the only thing he's unreasonable about? If so, I think maybe he's just got a weird connection in his brain Lunch=she loves me, No Lunch = she hates me. If that's the case, I'd probably just go with it and make it a priority, because we all have these little quirks that don't really make sense. Get him to do something for you while you make it so that it's not just another thing to add to your to-do list. Say something like, "The baby needs a bath. If you bathe her, I'll have time to make your lunch." If he refuses because he thinks he can just sit at home when he gets there, then I'd have a bit more of a problem with it. And if that's the case, then you can say, "If you want to do x, I'll make your lunch, but if you don't, I don't have time. It's up to you." Make it about logistics and time management rather than about who SHOULD be doing what.



Personally, I think it's kind of silly, only little kids need someone to make their lunch (like under grade 3 or 4), but if he's normally a reasonable guy and just has this need for whatever reason, then if it doesn't really bother you go ahead and do it for him.

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Sharron - posted on 09/19/2012

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Thanks for the great advice, I think you actually hit the nail on the head...it's just something that he is really quirky/funny about. I also think it is the way he was raised his Mother ran after him and his Dad and still does! Think I'll use your suggestion, even although I might not want that basket of laundry brought up right now, I certainly will when it comes to making his lunch!! Thanks!

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