Missy - posted on 01/04/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
We've been together 11 years now. I'm not gonna give you the full on long story, but put it like this- if I didn't have the ambition that I had to do anything more than have babies, he would have been fine with that. I stayed home with our children for almost 10 years, this is my first few months working outside the home. Any freelance work I did was from my home office.
Okay, the short version is this. He still gets uptight and really acts jealous every time it looks like I'm going to make a move (or actually make a little baby step) to accomplish a goal. Seriously, I'm not making this up. When I was at home with the kids, he kicked and hollered when I told him I was going back to undergrad. He was okay with me being in junior college, but when I went to an upper division univ, he really showed out, even asserting that we wouldn't be able to take family vacations if I had to go to school.
When I scrapped and put money aside to put on a poetry reading, and paid for EVERYTHING, even included him as a band member when he can barely play the keyboard, he still acted jealous when it was over and showed out for 2 months after that. Just being nasty and cold in general. At that point he said that me having a poetry reading...a Gospel one at that...was ruining our marriage.
When I went on BET for a poetry slam, he was still acting jealous. Waiting until the last minute to decide to come to the studio audience to show some support.
Now, I am working at a marketing firm. To be honest, I gave a two week notice because our children didn't like going to my MIL's house after school. They were so used to coming home after school, and I can understand that. I figured that since my Master's program is starting in a couple weeks, I'd just come off my job and try to get a part-time work study position or something. Well, my husband said, "It would be nice if they offered you part-time." Guess what, after turning in my notice, they actually offered me the opportunity to work part-time!
When I went to discuss the exciting news with my husband, you guessed it, he was annoyed and unsupportive. I think he had his mind set that I was gonna be back at home all day where he is most comfortable.
My fear is this, I am less compassionate and more resentful of my husband now than ever. I can feel in my heart that I don't have the patience I used to have and really, really just want to tear into him when he gets like this.
I'm afraid that he will never grow to the point that he can give in return the constant support I've given him over the years. When he has wanted to go overseas, travel non-stop, pursue various venture in and out of the church, I've been his cheerleader. I can't figure out why he can't just return the favor! Your thoughts are appreciated :) Thanks ladies.