My husband vs baby

Queen Of My - posted on 10/01/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My 18 month old hates his dad! He wants nothing to so with him and never has. My husband has tried everything from giving him more space to giving him more attention. He tries to read to him, feed him his bottle, bath him - anything he enjoys but my son just screams at him. He will never kiss him good night, flails aroUnd hysterically if he tries to change his diaper... I just don't know what to do anymore. It has gotten to the point that he feeling is mutual. My husband now has ZERO patients for him. He tells me daily that he wishes we never had him or jokes about selling him. I hate it. Any advice?

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Gina - posted on 10/03/2013

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Is your husband gentle? Does he spend time with him away from you? I would seek the advice of a therapist. My gut is that your son doesn't like him for a reason and you need to find out what that is. At 18 months kids are about instinct not judgement. Is your son able to bond with you and other family members? Your husbands reaction is a little concerning, a child at any age should never hear those words even if joking.

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Queen Of My - posted on 10/03/2013

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Oh my husband never says things like that when he can hear and he makes jokes when he is hurt. He isn't serious, but it is stressful for me because I know deep down he was happier with only one child. He is very gentle. Our oldest son is very much a Daddys boy. I feel like you are probably right about the therapist though. Just to concer this before it is irreversible. Thanks for your input :)

OroStoll - posted on 10/02/2013

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Yikes that is pricey! And for no help that is terrible.
What about his pediatrician?
There has to be some kind of help out there. If I come across anything I will post.
Hope you find something soon.

Queen Of My - posted on 10/02/2013

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What kind of doctor? And for who? Lol

I tried talking to a psychiatrist a few months ago about the stress it was causing me (amongst other things) but nothing really came of it - she didn't offer any solutions or advise - just listened and I wanted answers. I can rant to blow off steam for much less than $200 /hr

Jen - posted on 10/02/2013

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I'm sure this is really hard on your husband, I hope he is open enough to talk to you about his feelings, instead of just making jokes. If this were happening to me and my husband, I would just do all the things that my son doesn't like my husband to do, and let him strengthen his bond with our son by doing only the things that he likes to do with his dad, like play time, taking him on walks or to the park, whatever your son will allow. I wouldn't push it, for both of their sakes. I know this would put a lot of extra work on you, so maybe your husband could help out in other ways, like preparing dinner or cleaning up.

Gena - posted on 10/02/2013

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Youre welcome:-) I just thought i would ask about that situation because my son has started that.He wouldnt let his dad put his pjs on anymore and i all of a sudden realized that it was because he would give up..i cant stand outside the door and hear him screaming and crying so i go with and help. I am going to try to find away that works for the three of us. I hope things will settle by you aswell..maybe its just a phase.Goodluck

Queen Of My - posted on 10/02/2013

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Jen: Yes, my son likes to play and wrestle IF our older son is participating but one on one he couldn't care less. But the three of them can do it for ever and Owen loves it so I don't know why he doesn't like it with just Daddy. We use to just think it was a man thing (when he was really small) because he wasn't fond of any man, but now he is really bonding with his Papa and is more okay with strange men so I am not sure anymore

Gena: Thank you for the article. We have gone through this on a much lower scale with our first son. He would often prefer one over the other but he would always switch back so neither of us felt bad for too long. Also it was never as extreme as this. The article had all reasonable things we have learned in the past, but definitely a good reminder and encouraging. I will definitely print it out for my husband!
In regards to your first post, as difficult as it is, I try to never save the day! I often stand just outside the door wishing I could but don't. We have also tried to do things together so he gets both of us but he just kicks and screams at Daddy the whole time. I have given him time outs for that kind of behavior but I don't really know how else to discipline a child so small. I dont believe in spankings and he isnt attached to any special toy. He is becoming verbal now, so I am hoping we can talk this out soon :s
Thanks again!

Gena - posted on 10/01/2013

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how did he handle those situations?Changing diapers as example, does he give up and let you do it or does he pull through and do it?I am asking because maybe your son realized that when he screams by daddy he will stop and mommy will do it. I hope something can change for you because him saying he wishes he never had him is awfull.I am going to look for advice on the internet and send you a link if i find something useful.Good luck

Jen - posted on 10/01/2013

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What about playtime? Does your son like his dad to play with his toys, chase him around the house, etc?

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