My husband wants to formula feed our baby even though he is breastfeeding great!

Carolina - posted on 10/13/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have a 3 month old son who has been exclusively breastfed since birth. I brag about this every chance I get because I was not so successful with my first two children. Now that i have a great supply and our baby is gaining weight wonderfully he wants to start giving him one bottle of formula a day. Actually as I write he is at the grocery store buying the can and I am in complete panic and praying that the baby will not tolerate it! His reasoning for wanting to give him formula? he feels that from what he has observed he is not being fed "long enough" and that he should be woken up to feed in the middle of the night every 2 hours even though we have been told that at night he can go no more than 4 hours without a feeding since he is being fed on demand during the day. Since birth our baby has never been a 20 minute feeder on both sides. He gets great amounts of milk at feeding time and will feed at maximum for 10 minutes. I have even at times tried to have him feed longer even after burping and he is just not interested. I have begged and begged him not to give him formula which has caused countless arguments in the middle of the night and constant hovering when he is being fed. Any advice on what i should do?

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Denikka - posted on 10/13/2012

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Tell him NO!

Just like if he wanted to do anything else that you inherently felt was wrong or dangerous to do with your child. He is being ridiculous. Sit him down and tell him that you know he wants what's best for the baby, but that's what you're doing. Your baby is happy and healthy. There is no reason for him to have any formula. Breast is best. You WANT to breastfeed and there is no obstacle to that, except for him.

Maybe explain that by giving your son formula, it will effect your supply.

Heck, in my situation, if my hubby ever came home with a can of formula and expected me to use it without damn good reason, I'd dump it down the drain. I really would. Even though he might have good intentions, no one gets in the way of me doing what's best for my kids.

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Firebird - posted on 10/13/2012

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If he's not willing to listen to reason, just put your foot down and say NO.

Dove - posted on 10/13/2012

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Not to be nosy or anything, but based on the way you are wording your posts.... this doesn't sound like the first issue you've had with him and I can almost guarantee it won't be the last. If you are literally panicking over a decision your husband is making.... I think leaving the house for a bit might be a good idea. Let him know that you feel so strongly about this issue (and any others) that you won't be home until he agrees to go to counseling with you.

Dove - posted on 10/13/2012

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If he brings home formula... I would dump it in the trash or down the sink. I would go so far as to leave the house and go to a friend's house until he listens to reason. There is NO reason whatsoever to be feeding your baby formula at this point. Heck, my first born was sleeping 6 hours straight at 3 months.... and your husband thinks he should wake every 2 hours?! Sleeping is a GOOD thing. It means he is content. He is growing and thriving on your milk alone and there is no reason whatsoever to change that.

Carolina - posted on 10/13/2012

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Seriously, I have done and said it all Amy. First off, he thinks our doctor is just too laid back and he rarely asks her any questions and would rather do the research himself. Secondly, he feels that I just want it my way. LOL.....i don't know which breastfeeding women wants to give up her freedom 24/7 so she can breastfeed. You would think that after my third child that things would not be so complicated! Like Denikka wrote some guys get an idea in their mind and hold onto it like a dog with a bone. I am literally panicking at the thought of him walking through the door.

Amy - posted on 10/13/2012

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Ask him to wait till the next doctors appointment and specifically bring it up at the doctors. Ask the doctor is it ok that I'm feeding on demand? Is it ok that he sleeps 4 hours a night and isn't being fed every 2 hours? Is it ok that he doesn't eat 20 minutes and is only feeding 10 minutes? Also let your husband know as they get older they become more efficient feeders so even a newborn that once ate for 20 minutes stop that by the time they are 3 months old. Otherwise I would just tell your husband that he's being ridiculous and if your son wasn't "getting enough" he wouldn't have 6-8 wet diapers a day, and would verbally be expressing his hunger. You can also call your doctor and see if you can come in and weigh your little one on their scale so you can prove he's gaining weight.

Carolina - posted on 10/13/2012

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He's at all appointments but for whatever reason has not taken the opportunity to voice his concerns with this issue. I have even looked into having a lactation consultant do a housecall (we live in Toronto, Canada) and he's just not for it. At his 2 month checkup he was weighed and it showed that he is gaining weight. I do believe he is just dead set on this and the more I beg him not to do it the more persistent he is with it. At this point I don't want to give up and stand up for what is best but what am I to do when he comes to me with the bottle?

Denikka - posted on 10/13/2012

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Take your hubby into the Dr with you. Have the Dr explain that as long as baby is gaining good weight, THAT is the indication on how well he's being fed, not a clock. Some guys are just clueless, or the get an idea in their mind and hold onto it like a dog with a bone.



In my household, hubby has always taken more of a back seat when it came to decisions about the kids and let me take the lead. I don't know how your situation is, but I know for me, I would just flat out put my foot down and tell him that until the baby starts losing weight, being unhealthy, or gives me some other reason, no formula will be passing my baby's lips. Period.

I breastfed both my kids and they would frequently only feed for 5 or 10 minutes at a time (I had some awesome let down XD). I was concerned at one point, but I was always told that as long as they're gaining weight and healthy, there's no reason to supplement :)



Maybe your hubby will take the word of a professional :)

Amy - posted on 10/13/2012

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I would research research research! There is no reason that a baby should have to feed for 20 minutes each side. If you are feeding on demand then you are doing what's best for your baby and your supply. Some babies sleep through the night others do not, my daughter did get one bottle of formula during the middle of the night early on because I was going back to work and needed her to take a bottle. I hope for you sake that this fails miserably for your husband because it sounds like your little one is doing fantastic with things just the way they are!!! Could your husband come to a doctors appointment and here it from the doctor so he stops being so pushy?

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