My husband won't let me see my daughter

Sarah - posted on 10/21/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi,
I have been married for 3 years and have a two year old daughter and am 6 months pregnant. I work part tone and spend the remaining time with my daughter.
My husband has always drunk a lot as did I but I have grown up a lot since havering my daughter however he has not. Although he works hard he feels after work he deserves a drink. At weekends he takes cockain ! We would often argue and he would disappear off for a couple of days getting hammered with his mates!
He is quite a switched off person and does not care much for emotions!
At the weekend after I came home from work took Layla out for a play then cooked dinner, my husband came gone and could not eat anything as he was high! I told Jim I was at breaking point but he told me I was a selfish bitch! I told him I did not understand why he would rather get hammered rather then spend time with his beautiful family.
The following morning he never went to work and said he was gonna spend the weekend with jus daughter as I said he did not see her enough, but that afternoon he was also going out for a drink with his mates.
I asked if he was gonna spend any time with me and he says no so I thought enough is enough packed a bag and left!
I left my daughter there as I was in quite a state and did not want to argue with him.
However now he won't let me see her at all. I tried going around the house and he said he would throw me out but I said you can't touch me as I'm pregnant so he took my daughter out instead!
I have tried social services and the police and they both say she is not in danger so they can't help!
I'm going out of my mind I have never spent a day with out her and now I have spent 3.
He is very scary so no one will stand up to him.
Any advice would be very welcome as my heart is breaking and this surly us not helping my pregnancy !
Sarah

3 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 10/21/2013

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I must admit, my first thought was why would you leave your child with a man who drinks so heavily and does cocaine in the way you describe? If you feel he is a danger to the child, why did you leave her there?

Anyway, I agree, you are going to need to file for custody orders. The fact that he won't allow you to see her won't sit well with the judges, because it could be argued parental alienation, but get yourself a good lawyer. Start a journal/log book on the times you try to contact her and he won't allow it, anything that will give you evidence. Just be prepared for the fact that you may have to share custody with him, unless you have enough evidence to show that he is not fit for shared custody.

Sarah - posted on 10/21/2013

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I thanks Kelly,
I felt it was the right thing to do at the time! I left before and he told me he would kill me if I took her!
So rather than fight over her I thought or hoped he would get bored after a day but he seems to be using her now as a weapon

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You need to talk to your lawyer and get your divorce proceedings started. Then file for custody through family court.

Unfortunately, because you packed your bag and left, leaving her with him, you don't have many rights right now. Technically, you both have equal rights to the child, but you cannot force him to let you see her without a court order.
Make sure you document your attempts to contact your daughter and get physical evidence of him refusing to allow you to see her. If you don't have that evidence, he can say that you abandoned her in court. You can also use any threats he makes against him in court.

A huge chunk of your story seems to be missing. I don't understand why you would leave her alone with a man who uses cocaine.

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