LAURA - posted on 09/12/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
My husband and I have a blended family.... well a joined family (we aren't blending very well). I brought two children (girl;age now 8 and boy;age now 6) and he brought two children (girl; age now 17 and boy; age now 8).
My husband and I don't scream and yell at each other. Our biggest argument is his son. He has huge... I'm talking HUGE double standards for my children and his. He's constantly on my kids about EVERYTHING, cleaning their rooms, washing their dishes, picking up their bikes from the yard, etc). All stuff I ask them to do also, because as a parent we have to teach them responsibility. I never down talk him, I never get mad when I don't agree with how he is punishing them. I let him be a parent. He is the father figure in their lives and i will not disrespect him, especially in front of the kids because we are supposed to be a unit. I've also noticed that he treats my 6-year-old like he's a teenager. He thinks my kids disrespect him by not picking their clothes up out of the bathroom or having to be reminded to do something. That's not disrespect... it's called being kids!
Now when it comes to his son.... he lets him do whatever. Between my husband and my step sons bio mom.. this kids gets everything! He is spoiled rotten and rude/disrespectful. Christmas'/birthdays or horrible because all you hear is "I have that at my moms", "wow, now I have four of them" etc. It's irritating.
I can't say anything to my husband or to the kid without my husband getting defensive. A clear example would be just the other night, My stepson was watching tv instead of doing his homework. After continuing to watch tv, I asked my husband if he (stepson) should be doing his homework. My husband just looked at me and asked in a very nasty tone, in front of every single one of the kids; why I was even asking him that. It took my aback. I was shocking into place and just stood their staring... and then again in a really nasty tone he asked me what? I just walked away.
This has been a fight for a long time and I'm not sure I can hold on anymore. I'm at my witts end, I'm resenting both my husband and my stepson. I don't appreciate being disrespected in front of our children. I can't just let him punish my kids and then not punish his own for doing the same exact thing. I'm so close to walking away but I know that we can have a truly real love without these problems. I'm almost scared that we will never be able to come together and be parents to his son, and that means I will have to walk away because my kids and myself will not be treated like that.