Amelia - posted on 09/10/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
I've been with my husband 81/2 years married for 1. Three weeks before our first wedding aniversary we had an argument because he had a girl in the car who was my brothers friend. He left the family home and told me 3 days later he couldn't see a way forward and said we should give up. I later found out he stayed the night at her house before he told me this. We was separated for three weeks and he said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. Which hurt like hell as I would give my life for him. We spoke about trying again which we now are doing after he had a two week relationship with this girl. After a week of being back together but living apart (he is staying at his mums) I caught him at her house. I was following a gut feeling. He was still texting her until about two weeks ago when things started getting better between us. He won't do couples councilling as he said he don't see how it will help but I think it will. But we have started spending one day a week together with out the children ( we have 4) and he stays over one night a week. We identified some of our problems mine is I'm insecure and have difficulty trusting and his is he don't talk to me and he lies to me so we don't argue. We both identified we need to work on our trust and also communicating but instead of telling me what he wants I'm making all the suggestions and everything and his agreeing to it. Which bugs me as I want his input to and it feels like half the time I'm putting in 200% and his putting in 50%. I gave him the option of walking away or trying and he said he wants to try. So I think and feel he should put in 200% same as me. My gut feeling is we can make our marriage work and we will be stronger than ever. But I'm so confused as to why he seems to be only putting in a little effort and I don't know what else to try.