my inlaws are so obssessive

Nida - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my inlaws are so obssessive about my daughter.

they dont let me take her decision. they said that when you will go abroad your daughter will not go with you. they does brain washing of her when i went for job. she is only of 19. what i do i m so worry about it.

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Iram - posted on 04/24/2011

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this is just not fair.....how can they do like this,,i think u should speak to your husband that u cant bear this kind of behaviour and if you can then please try to live in some other house not with them coz love can remain if peoples live apart not together..all da best dear.......

Nida - posted on 03/18/2010

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Thank you for your concern but the fact is that my father in law is specially very aggressive and insulting kind of person. he don't listen what he don't want. as he did with me yesterday. he shut down his door from my room and pushed my daughter who is only of 19th months old. he is not able to talk . and unfortunately we are financially very poor and cant move somewhere else. it will be a very tragic and aggressive drama when we will try to be separate. his thinking is of gangster type and he even don't resist in these kinds of work when it is necessary. his own wife and sisters cant say anything to him because of his cruel nature. that's why i cant take stand because i m afraid that i don't know what he will do . but i m highly disturbed because of this situation. as i cant concentrate on my job. the scenario is not simple.
hope i have explain my helplessness.
take care

Nida - posted on 03/18/2010

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Thank you for your concern but the fact is that my father in law is specially very aggressive and insulting kind of person. he don't listen what he don't want. as he did with me yesterday. he shut down his door from my room and pushed my daughter who is only of 19th months old. he is not able to talk . and unfortunately we are financially very poor and cant move somewhere else. it will be a very tragic and aggressive drama when we will try to be separate. his thinking is of gangster type and he even don't resist in these kinds of work when it is necessary. his own wife and sisters cant say anything to him because of his cruel nature. that's why i cant take stand because i m afraid that i don't know what he will do . but i m highly disturbed because of this situation. as i cant concentrate on my job. the scenario is not simple.
hope i have explain my helplessness.
take care

Tabitha - posted on 03/18/2010

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I ran into a similar problem with my in-laws when my oldest son was born. Trying to tell me what I should and shouldn't do. For the longest time I just bit my tongue, but that just made it worse. Just simply tell them in the nicest way you can that this is your daughter and you will raise her as you see fit. They had their chance to raise their children.

Kimberly - posted on 03/18/2010

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I know where you are coming from. My in-laws are obsessive about my son, who is two and a half.I always hear about things I should not do, and for the longest time I held it in. Now I simply tell them "thanks for the advice, I'll try to remember that." Let them know their opinion is just that- you are happy to listen but you will be making your own decisions from now on. You should maybe sit your daughter down and tell her the same thing, that she has the right to make her own choices, but that she should try to hear out both parties first.
Best of luck, sweetie.

Shawna - posted on 03/18/2010

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Where are you from? While I can tell you're not a native speaker, your English is very good (considering writing is much harder than speaking). That being said, she is your daughter and you make the rules, not your in-laws. I'm sure you want to be nice and not upset them, but you have to set your boundaries now or they'll walk all over you for years to come (and you don't want your daughter someday saying, "well Grandma said I could.") Do you live with them or on your own? If you live on your own be nice, but be firm when you tell them you're doing something with your daughter and do it regardless of what they say. If you live with them, look for a way to move out as soon as you can.

Shirley - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi sweetheart,

Its very simple really - tell your inlaws its YOUR child and YOU will make the decisions for her NO ONE else.

If they dont like that - dont visit them or speak to them... You and your daughter happiness is far more important than what others think of you.

Gd luck

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