Merle Van - posted on 04/05/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )
I am writing because I am learning and am so sorry for having to learn that...when we have emotional problems in our lives, our children suffer. It is difficult to accept this and evn more difficult to change it.
I am remarried and my husband is unresponsive and impatient with children and animals. I am also financially dependent on him. In my attempt to make him more accepting, responsive and show more acknowledgement, I have forced my children to be quiet, obedient, almost "perfect". I have watched how my 11 year old daughter has slowly changed from a loving and responsive little girl to a naughty and forgetful child. My 4 year old is emotionally challenged and responds in a moody way to almost all instructions because of my controlling nature. If I get a little extra money, I spend it on the children because they need something. The other day my daughter left her new shoes at the store. I could barely afford to get her the much needed shoes and I shouted at her. I accused her of being ungrateful, forgetful and much more.
I decided to lock myself in my behind my computer to catch my "rolling anger".
Through reading about situations, I realised that our shortfalls (within us) - like not having a job, not being emotionally grounded etc...are like explosives laying around our children.
I would love your opinions on this....to be an effective parent, you need to be well, mentally well within yourself.