my kids step dad thinks it is bad that my kids show each other affection.

Tonia - posted on 12/08/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )




and he thinks I should make them stop, my kids have always been close. he says my daughter shouldn't be allowed to even sit on my sons bed. He is very strict on his son on the matter and his son is not allowed to because his son was molested when he was younger. I respect his wishes for his child but mine are brother and sister and I see nothing wrong with it. anybody have any ideas on how to handle this?


Meadow - posted on 12/09/2010




There have been studies on how helpful hugging can be for kids, People don't realize how much it is still needed. I still hug my 16 year old 4 times a day (if I can grab her). I have been on the otherside as a kid, but I know that hugging my sister all the years helped us stay close. I think they are your kids, try and respect his wishes but hug your kids extra later on.


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Kathy - posted on 12/09/2010




From what you said he is paranoid because of what happened to his son, there is absolutely nothing wrong with siblings showing some affection, me and my brothers hugged as kids, one lives with me for now, and the other when he visits to this day we hug when he leaves.... it keeps them close, I'd take your side on this, and I'd not send him to councling, but maybe go as a family so that he can maybe not have so many worries about his son where your family is concerned.

Nikkole - posted on 12/09/2010




i would talk to him and just tell him how you feel, im am very close to my brother on and sister. i dont think there isnt any thing wrong with a brother or sister siting or being in the same bed room

Angela - posted on 12/09/2010




talk to him, and depending on the ages of the children, involve them in on the conversation. mayb if he knows that they know the difference between good touches and bad touches, it will ease his mind to their affection. my kids hug and kiss each other all the time. they even sleep in each others beds at night. But they also know that it is not ok to go in the bathroom while brother or sister is in there. there is nothing wrong with brothers and sisters showing affection, especially at a young age.

Alison - posted on 12/09/2010




Don't send your husband to counseling. Offer to go see a social worker together. You are trying to blend your family and you cannot have two sets of rules. If you cannot come to an agreement, you should involve a mediator. If your husband really has some personal issues to work out, the social worker will be able to see them and will advise him to do something about it (then you don't have to!).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/09/2010




It sounds like he might need counseling himself. It is very sweet and endearing...let alone natural for siblings to show affection. It is much better than them beating the crap out of eachother. I understand why he is concerned becouse of the molestation...but it just sounds like he is being careful. Have you tried to talk with him about this?

Tanya - posted on 12/09/2010




I agree with Amanda about professional help..I grew up close to my siblins and i raised my kids to always be close and there for eachother..I feel bad for his experience, but evey situation is not the same..Good Luck!

[deleted account]

A sister and brother should show love for each other. Maybe seeking Professional help may help the situation at hand. It is normal to feel insecure when tramas take place. God bless you and yours.

Amy - posted on 12/09/2010




i can fully understand were he is coming from....but with ur kids i think its lovley that they love each other so much i have always had a loving realtionship with all my brothers and sisters from being younger we bathed together stayed in eachothers beds wen we was scared and always kissed a cuddeld....dont really no what to suggest like amanda says maybe he needs to talk to some one who nos what there doing....have you tred talking to him about it? x

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