my little girl has a self asteem issue would a new wordrobe help? if not what will?

User - posted on 07/20/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a little girl who is 12 now and will be turning 13 this year in November. She is ben haveing alot of problums emotionally. She has been crying alot and just depressed all the time. I know shes at that age where everything is changeing but i dont like to see her like this. she has been haveing alot of depression issues ever since her father and i got a devorce. She is just sad all the time and i dont know how to help her. She is not the skinnyst child ever. I love her with all my hart and i need help. I dont want her to have to take "happy pills" because i use to take them during my devorce and my body grew an addiction and i gained weight. She has some bad acne that we cant get to go away, mainly on the forehead and is a bit over weight. She has gone to the school gidence cousolor for her depression but the one at her school didnt like her and didnt help and the 1st was a bit confused and tryed to help with what to do when your parnts are fighting. and we where all redy devorced and living on spereate parts of town. She is also sorta a tom boy. she likes dark clothes and like to shop at hot topic. but some kids on the bus thought she was a boy or something and came home crying. She has also a strange figure and boys t shits fit well. i always get them a few sizes too big because they are cotton and i shrink them. So i thought maybe we should make her look a little big girlyer but i juist got her 3 new shirts and she complained about whereing them every week. I never thought about that. It makes us look poor.So this new school year she is going to a new school. She will be in the 7th grade and I told her we can re-invent her. So we are going to shop at some nice clothing stores, like this one i like where you can get kock offs of last years clothing like coach and tommy h. do you think that would work? she asked if we could get her a hle new wordrobe to replace that"lame" one she has now....help?

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Sarah - posted on 07/20/2012

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A shopping day might be therapeutic and fun for her, but I doubt that it will solve her self-esteem issues. What about going to a gym together and taking an exercise class or a dance class? Or take up a new sport (biking, hiking, karate, etc.). Make sure you're making nutritious meals, have no junk in the house. I would also consider having her tested for PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I too had overweight tendencies and bad acne that wouldn't go away at that age. I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. It is extremely common and can be treated. Had any doctor considered this diagnosis when I was younger, it could have prevented a lot of heartache for me. I plan to have my daughter tested at puberty if she begins to show any signs. For your shopping trip, why not take her to those new stores, let HER pick our her clothes, don't put your perceptions of what she likes onto them, you might be surprised at what she picks! Good luck and have fun!

User - posted on 07/20/2012

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It could help if she really wants to change her style.

Is she in any clubs, maybe gym or something like that could help with thweight.

Also she might benefit from joining the Girl Guides/Scouts. They have a great range of activities and build confidence and self-esteem. It's also a good place to make friends.

Dove - posted on 07/20/2012

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Reinventing her won't fix the issues, but if she wants a new wardrobe and new look... there's nothing wrong with that.

Quality mother/daughter time is definitely good. Has she seen a doctor for the acne? He/she could also give you a referral for a counselor NOT in the school. If she's a bit on the heavy side... what are your diets like? Does she cook or is she interested in learning? The two of you could cook healthy meals together, take walks together, get active in other ways.

Those are all the suggestions I've got right now.

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