Usually - posted on 08/04/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years now (engaged for 1 year). I have 2 adult children (out of the house) and a teen son 17 still at home. Fiance as one 24 year old daughter who is happily married and pregnant with baby #2. We see her and her family about once every 6 weeks due to work and distance between us, although occasionally my fiance will make the trip down to visit on a day off by himself and return the same day. I've always supported and encouraged him to do so.
Our relationship has been great between all children involved. I couldn't believe our good fortune! His daughter often telling me how glad she is that I am with her father. Recently we had a vacation with his parents, brothers, sister, spouses....
As soon as his daughter and family arrived on the scene she seemed to need to be in constant contact with her dad. I have grown accustomed to her baby talk around her husband and dad (when she speaks to me it is an appropriate adult voice), holding her dad's hand on walks when we are all together or linking her arm through his (although I found it strange as my upbringing was not as tactile). It seems when we are all together she is a "couple" with her dad while her husband and I take over child care, food/drinks etc.
On this trip, much to my dismay I watched on a number of occasions where she draped her legs over his on the sofa. Being summer it was skin to skin as we were all in shorts. He would massage her feet. Next she sat on his lap or the arm of the sofa and stroked his head. Daughter also did this with Grandfather...stroking his head and cuddling on the couch. For over 36 hours I couldn't get near my fiance alone to talk or even connect and by bed time was too angry to bring it up. Okay not angry but hurt, and likely jealous. I had booked time off for a vacation with him as well! I wish now that I could have watched SD husband's reaction but I was only seeing red and he was very busy providing child care to their 18 month old daughter. It seems when her dad shows up she reverts to being a little girl who needs to be taken care of. At 24 I would expect her to help make/serve/clean up after supper etc.
Does anyone else think that at 24 years of age she ought to seek affection from her husband instead of dad? Am I over reacting?