Erin - posted on 01/18/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
My mom had both my sister and I by c-section due to health problems during her pregnancies.
When I've spoken with her about my plans for a home birth (or even natural birth in a hospital, when I was still considering that), she'll imply that I care more about the experience of birth than having a healthy baby.
She brings up relatives and friends who have had natural births and who (in her opinion) caused brain damage to their babies by being in labour too long or whatever. She works with a lot of disabled kids and whenever she can, she will tell me about how their problems are probably due to being oxygen-deprived or injured during birth.
I have had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I'm young and fit and on top of it all I have an hourglass-shape body with wide hips, so I know that's not super important and it's bound to be hard work, but I think I've got every chance of having a good labour and healthy baby.
I've reassured her that if there are ay problems, I will go to the hospital, but I've just been so worried:
If something does go wrong, with the birth, or otherwise, she is going to blame me forever, for me "selfishness". If the baby grows up to have a learning disability or something (for whatever reason), my Mom is going to say that it's all my fault for having a natural birth, that I damaged the baby's brain.
I'm getting so nervous, not about the birth itself, but just that if the baby isn't "perfect" my Mom will never let me live it down.
I understand that part of this is because she had us by c-section, and I've told her that I know she made the right choice for her situation, but maybe she takes my decision to try and do things differently as some sort of personal attack.