My mom is 81 and wants to move back into her huge house after it has been rebuilt due to a fire

Lori - posted on 04/07/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I have helped my mom in every way possible to get her life together after the fire. She has health issues that effect the way she can function on a daily basis. I helped her move into a senior residence with light house keeping, prepared meals, laundry service and activities to join in to help with her loneliness. She has made friends, has food and is safe. Since she lived on her own in a big house all her life she feels this apartment is too small for her, but the amenities address her basic needs without overtaxing the family.

I work full time, have a family with 2 teenagers, three dogs and live one hour away from my mom. I was overburdened with responsibility this last year and my siblings would not help because their life was full and did not bother or care enough to help. Due to weather and being burned out I insisted that my sister who lives 10 min away from where my mom lives start helping out. So despite what she talks about, my mom needs active participation and I made it clear that the burden is too heavy for me to always play the active role.

My mother had lived with me and my family, after the fire, for 2 months before finding this apartment she is in now. My mom has a cat and no cats are allowed in this apartment but under the circumstances the people allowed my mom to keep the cat for awhile. It was enough time and the management of the building wanted the cat to find another place to live. So I took the cat again for a couple of months. My mom is not living with us anymore and the cat had a very hard time getting along with our dogs so the cat had to go. I called my sister to help with the cat and she agreed to find it a home close to my moms new place. That was 4 months ago! Now the building management wants the cat gone again very soon since it is not allowed to live there but here again they gave a lot of time and understanding to the situation allowing the cat to live there for another 4 months. This is typical behavior from my siblings.

Now my sister calls me up and wants me to get involved because nothing gets done on her part to help my mom. The fact there is a lot to clean up in my mothers apartment due to the cat throwing up is because my mom can not do that kind of cleaning anymore. The staff of the apartment are allergic to the cat and are unable to do the cleaning as they want to and need to . This small part of the big picture is my sisters responsibility as she has taken no other responsibility in my mothers life situation with my mom or her house going on fire. My sister tells me she can make decisions, and do things, so she can take care of the cat as I did. I told her to take care of the cat since she told me she would. Now she is calling me frantically about getting rid of the cat. My mom will be evicted if the cat does not go soon. My mom will unsafely move back into the house just because of the cat. And then what....she has no one willing to help her out except me who is burned out. and my sister and my Aunt who live very close do nothing and refuse to do any thing. My brother who lives far away came to visit but only saw my sister not even his mother whose house burned down. He does nothing for my mother even when she is in a devastating situation. This is very sad but what can I do? Even after everything that I have done my sister puts me down with nasty remarks and calls me names. She and my brother are a lot older than me and love to push every thing on me when it comes to my mom and give me no credit. And even when the situation needs more help my brother does nothing and my sister calls me to take care of the cat when she is the one responsible for getting a new home for it. I feel it is the least she can do!

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