My mother adores my 2 daughters but has deep anger w my son...😥😥

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok so, my first time here. I'm not a new mom. I'm 49 & have 2 daughters (22 & 16) & 1 son (20). I have amazing kids. All of them!! My 2 oldest are in JR & SR years at University & my youngest is a JR in high school. My son was dx with ADHD (mild, not out of control) when 5. ADHD boys are a handful but in my case, it was more learning difficulties & compulsivity. As far back as I remember, my mom has had an obvious "dislike" towards my son, while obvious "typical grandma" attitudes w my girls. Now that he's older, he feels it, knows it & even though he handles it as best as he can.. My heart is broken. ** Newer moms - no matter their age, your babies will always be your babies... No matter their age. You will most likely always have that momma bear protecting her young mentality.

I guess what I'm looking for here, is advice from anyone going through similar situations. My mom (due to partial disability) has been living with me for several months. It's like the perfect storm in my house right now. Not to mention, causing significant issues between myself & mom. I call her out when she is treating my son with contempt. I try to get her to "see" the behavior so that she can try to correct. She says she loves my son & I know she does... However, loving & liking are worlds different. My son tries hard to do things for approval but he's tired. I'm tired!! His sisters see this same behavior & feel horrible for their brother & they are also TIRED!! (By the way, forgot to mention, my husband/kids daddy passed away 9 years ago at 41, line of duty firefighter death). Not sure if that is relevant but does explain how alone I feel in dealing with these issues.

Ok so, I know this was a novel in social media world. However, a readers digest version of the issues. Anyone else out there have similar situations??

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Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

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It's sad but true. When we take the rose colored glasses off. Mother is jealous, divide and conquer. I know this dynamic but to save your sanity and heart--please ask her to make other living arrangement---or better yet, you can do it for her. You can't live your life unhappy anymore!

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2016

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Thank you Sofia! I appreciate (& agree with) your comment. My kids are my #1 priority & it feels like my mom is a bit angered by that, at times. My mom is from the generation of "children are seen & not heard" while I have, from Day 1 been of a totally different opinion. I speak to my kids, encourage them to have opinions & tell them constantly how proud I am of them. It's just completely heartbreaking to see the dynamic over the years of my moms obvious disdain for my son. Picking favorites!! What mother does that?!! I'll never understand. Again, thank you thank you thank you.

Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

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You're doing everything right by standing up to your mother...Your children are your first priority and your mother is not. She is not your immediate family now. She needs to know that and you must be reminded of that. That cruel behavior of Mother's isn't going to change. So I say: get her out, she needs to be elsewhere. The children can visit but everyone needs peace---away from Grandma

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