My mother always stopped my going out or going to town . So one day i ran away when i was 14. She got me beat up so many times by my older brothere in this way i was never aloud have a boyfriend , My daughter is almost 14 and she ask's my things like would I get in trouble if i had a boyfriend ? etc i said yes you are not aloud a bf ( NO WAY) tHERE ARE SOME NICE BOYS WHO SHE GETS ALONG WITH AND THEY ALWAYS HUG HER AND SIT BESIDE HER ! What should I do ? Should i allow this or stop her seeing them ? PLZ help
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Dove - posted on 08/01/2012
The tighter you hold on... the more they will push (as you know since you ran away at 14). I agree with the no boyfriend thing (my kids aren't dating until 16), but letting them hang out in groups that are well supervised and keeping the lines of communication open about EVERYTHING is my current plan. Granted, my oldest is not quite 11 still, but it's working for us so far. ;)
Our 'boy focus' right now is on how a boy talks to you and/or treats you... as in... if a boy calls you a 'hot chick'... you want to run the other direction. But if a boy tells you that he thinks you are pretty and nice (smart, whatever)... he is a boy that might make a good friend.
Respect... teaching it, giving it, and demanding (in a respectful way) that it is given to you.
That's what I'm teaching in my house at least. :)
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