My mother hates me

Irina - posted on 07/19/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've never written anything like this so I apologize in advance if its formatted wrong or if there are other errors. I'm a sixteen year old girl and I don't have a good relationship with my mom. I know I am partially to blame for this I have been trying really hard to be more patient and understanding, but she just writes this off and continues to be cruel. She says nasty things to me and goes out of her way to be hurtful sometimes. I have been seeing a therapist for almost nine years and recently started zoloft, I'm trying as hard as I can but nothing I do seems to make anything better. I know this is only my perspective of the situation, but I would be immeasurably appreciative for any advice, thank you for your consideration Moms.

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Sarah - posted on 07/19/2015

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Can you give an example of what your mom says or does? Because when you are feeling down yourself you may misinterpret how someone really feels. It is not your job to "fix" your mom if she mistreats you. What you need to do is really lay out your feeling to your therapist. If you are being emotionally abused, she will have resources to help the both of you. In the meantime, do you have a good relationship with your dad, or another close adult that you feel you can trust and talk too?

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Sarah - posted on 07/19/2015

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Does your mom show the same sort of resentment towards your sister? What does your dad think? It's sad that you can't have a warm relationship with your mom. Hopefully, there is something your therapist can do to get the ball rolling and help your mom recognize her behavior and how hurtful she is being to you.

Irina - posted on 07/19/2015

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Thanks for responding Sarah E. :) I have a fantastic relationship with my dad, he's the best person in the world and means everything to me, I also have a wonderful sister with whom I can trust. The kind of things she [My mother] does include name calling (b++++ and other names), unprovoked aggression (IE taking out her repressed emotions on me, making profane gestures), threats, and then neglect (she won't speak to me for days at a time). Thank you for your advice, It really made me think, I had been going to the same therapist for so long and we kind of have been stuck in a rut, I can't remember the last time I really delineated how I feel about everything. I appreciate your care and kind advice, Thank you

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