Amy - posted on 02/19/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )
Any of you moms out there have issues with your mother-in-law (she isn't my mother-in-law yet, but still..)?? We live about 20 minutes away from my boyfriends mother who ALWAYS wants to see our son (my parents/family all live states away from us--about a 15 hour drive to visit so they've never been here to visit me or meet my boyfriend or son since I moved here 3 years ago). As far as his mother is concerned, I'm telling you she would move in with us if we allowed it---she is OBSESSED with our son. She would drive here everyday to see him if we let her, she would have us visit every day if we wanted to drive that far and she would have us sleepover every weekend. She will not back off and give us space!
Now, I am going to say her not backing off is partly due to the fact that my boyfriend thinks it's her right to see her grandchild whenever she wants and he has a very close relationship with his mom and he thinks it's perfectly okay for her to visit at least once a week or us go visit her when we have time every weekend. My boyfriend only has weekends off, so I prefer to have our weekends reserved for OUR FAMILY time because we don't get much time together otherwise. I'm not trying to drive around and go places (particularly not to his mom's) and spend our time together at his mother's house...it's ridiculous! I love to go places with our son, but it's like every time we leave we inevitably end up at his mom's house (so I try my hardest to avoid leaving the house on weekends)!!!
Finally, a few weeks ago I told him how I was feeling---that I was annoyed that she text me all the time, always asked how HER boy was doing (umm, that's MY son), would ask if she could stop by, blah blah blah. And she's still coming up with reasons for us to come over--- for example: she'll say my boyfriend has mail at her house that he needs to pick up or her mom (my bf's gramma) made something for our son that we need to pick and so on and so on.... it's always some excuse to bring our son over. I AM SOOOOO SICK OF IT. And the other day, my bf said that his mom told him that his gramma had made something for our son (an excuse to get us over there---because in all reality there are things called post offices and mailboxes and it could just be sent in the mail!!), so, he said we'll have to go get it this weekend. Well my bf had to leave work early yesterday to take us to our son's dr appointment and before he came home he called me and told me he had to run a few errands and then stop at his mom's to pick up some mail that was there. Well, he could have also picked up the present from his gramma, but of course he didn't. So I mentioned it when he got home and said "hey you should've grabbed that present from your gramma while you were at your mom's" and he said "oh I wasn't even thinking about it". Then he says, "well, we still would've had to go over there this weekend even if I had remembered to grab it..." I asked him why and he said because his mom wants to see her grandchild. OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! She does not need to see him everyday of her life!!!! She has her own life, we have our own life and she needs to realize that!! Back off lady!! If we feel like visiting or having her over for a short while, then fine. But this whole arranging things so there's a 'reason' for us to go over to her house is getting out of control. How have you moms dealt with a crazy/obsessive/overbearing/invasive mother-in-law (or mother or any other family member who is waaaay too involved in your life)??? Please give me some advice because seriously anything to do with her now just makes me soooo angry. And I'm sorry, but she is NOT entitled to have to see her grandson a specific amount of times per week or month, so she can get over it. I'm not going to back off and pretend like I'm happy to go over there every time she requests or presence because my boyfriends mother can't bear to go more than 5 hours without seeing our child.