Cassie - posted on 06/24/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )
My husband, myself and my 17 month old daughter lives with my Mother-in-law and Step-Father-in-law (that is a mouth full) My daughter was born with kidey issues and the debt has caused us to seek help from his Mother. We have been living with her since my daughter was born and we will be here or another year until we can buy our house. (I am pulling out my hair)
My Mother-in-law is SUPER obsessed with my daughter, which makes since because she is her first grandchild, but it is so annoying. Before she leaves for work in the morning she knocks on our door and asks to say goodbye to my daughter, when she gets home from work, if our scheduals don't meet up and she doesn't see her for a full 24 hours she will cry while looking through my daughters photos and sleeps with one of my daughter's stuffed animals. I feel sufficated.
But the big reason I am writting is because my M.I.L. has been trying to act like the "goodone" when I disopline her. My daughter is entering the terrible twos, she throws fits and gets into things she KNOWS she is not suppose to and I will not have it. I do not let her throw tandtrums and I DO NOT let her run around the house screaming bloody murder or pulling all the dvds off the shelf. I will take action quick. MyMIL does not like this. When I spank my child or ignore her while she throws a fit, my MIL will turn around to her and say "Come here baby, give me a hug" I HATE THIS. I want to snatch my child away from her and continue what I was teaching her. I mean she is reversing everything I am teaching. I want my daughter to know that if she throws a fit, she will get NOTHING, but her comes grandma with the attention she wanted. I do not know what to do or say because I don't want to get kicked out or be on bad terms with her but I can not stand what she is doing to my daughter. No if I take my daughter out of the living room away from her grandma she will scream and cry and reach for her. I feel like such a horrible mom, my daughter doesn't even want me. My husband keeps reminding me that she does this because she knows she will get whatshe wants from her gandma and knows she can't get away with it with me but how horrible would that feel... your daughter not wanting you to hold her :(
Now I appreciate what his mother has done for us, I really do, but how do I tell her how I feel i.e. "Butt the hell out lady, she is my daughter and what I say goes" without hurting her feelings or gettting kicked out?
P.S. my husband is always at work so he can't stand up for me most times and feels the same way I do about asking her to stop, we are scare to get kicked out or to seem unappreciative of what she has done for us. (She is very emotional)