Saum - posted on 02/20/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
It feels weird that I am dealing with this and am very upset.
I got married about 2 months back with this guy I have been dating for more than 5 years. As we live in India, some communities here are very particular when it comes to marrying their kids out of their cast. He comes from a conservative Brahmin family and I am from a fairly modern Punjabi family. Members in my family are comparatively much broader minded than his although his family is far closer knit. Both his parents are very protective about him and his younger brother. It took us a lot of struggle which was painful for both of us at different points in time to finally get married. I struggled throughout the courtship period to accept the fact that my ILs have a mentality that goes two generations back.
Soon after my wedding when I was only 3 days old bride, I had to face this awful behaviour from my husband. As they have a small house there was a space crunch as to who sleeps where. After a lot of suggestions and discussions they finally decided that my husband should sleep with his mother as both of us will be leaving the next day to return to the city where we work. By doing so my husband will get to spend some mother-son time with her. I was asked to sleep alone on a single bed and my FIL and BIL slept together. It confused me and I felt bad and neglected. I wasn’t sure if my feeling bad was right or wrong but it simply didn’t make sense to me that he will sleep with his mother and I will sleep alone. I was angry and even cried in the bed. I told him next day that he shouldn’t have done this. My MIL understood and in fact everyone did that this thing didn’t go well with me.
If this wasn’t enough just about a week back my ILs visited us and the same thing repeated again. This time I noticed my MIL kind of enjoyed doing this as she knew I don’t like her sleeping with my husband. My husband told me that she asked him to sleep with her and started laughing. This pissed me off. I expect my in laws to be sensible enough to first of all draw a line as their son is now also a married man. Second, my MIL often purposely keeps taking a sadistic pleasure by doing things that irritates me. I sometimes sit and regret of marrying this guy despite I knew his mother is over caring. I find it hard to deal with members in his family and feel irritated by their presence around me. I am not sure how to raise my spirits and be happy while dealing such utter nonsense.