My name is lisa curless. I have 3 children ages 11, 10 and 4. Life gets overwhelming.

Lisa - posted on 08/20/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Trying to raise three kids while working full time overnights is not easy. I need all the advice I can get from other moms who have been through all this stuff. The older two kids are my stepkids and wow, i have many issues with how they were raised before they came to live with us. More about that later though.

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Ev - posted on 08/20/2013

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I am sorry that the bio family is not helping the situation but most times that is how it is. My ex for example has told his former wife 2 about me as well as wife 3 about me too in his own words. Never once did either of them seek me out to see for themselves. So I am sure that they heard all the really awful things about me but none of the good. Its been wife 3 that the real trouble has been with and her sticking her nose in where its not needed (major decisions). We have joint custody. But the thing is to be polite to those around you and the kids and go on. You can not force the step kids' bio family to do what they do not want to do. You just do the best with what you have and that you can.

Lisa - posted on 08/20/2013

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Thank you for posting. I have been trying really hard with the everything you say. I have people on the bios moms side that do not help matters at all. I am working on though. The problem with chores is that they never had to do it where they lived before. They didnt have any responsibilities including cleaning their own rooms. It is hard to teach them to have any responsibility. but i will keep trying. thank you again for posting. I am very grateful

Ev - posted on 08/20/2013

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Lisa,

Its hard to raise kids be it step or your own. We all parent differently and even if you do not like how they were raised before, let them know in your own terms what is acceptable and not acceptable at your home. Set the rules and make a list if need be. Set up chores if you plan on doing so and set that list up as well. Make sure they know rules regarding homework, playtime, chore time, and bedtime. Set specific routines during the school year and summer. Get everyone on the same page. It takes time for a blended family to work out. I have not been in one but from what my kids have experienced with their blended families...(two of them)...I have been told a lot of things. And the big word here is CONSISTENCY.

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