My nine year old has trouble staying in her own bed. She is scared of everything. Any ideas?

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Sharon - posted on 12/13/2010

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A dream catcher worked wonders for my nephew at about that age, I got a book from the Library explaining how they worked and then I bought him one every morning I phoned and we talked about he's dreams. Every night his mum said good night and don't forget to let the dream catcher worry about the bad ones. It didn't work straight away however he is now 17 and still has one

Holly - posted on 12/13/2010

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hello give her a big flash lite and sit with her at bed time show her she can look under the bed to see no monsters and then flash some lite on the ceiling make some animals you know like with your hands that way she can see and not be scared get a nite lite, try that worked for my daughter she is 12 , thanks holly

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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you can help your daughter write a story about what she is afraid of and how she can defeat her fears in the story, draw funny pictures to go along with it. she will be the hero of the story and save everyone from the scary things. then read the story every night, maybe about 20 minutes before she goes to bed and remind her that she can dream about being the hero too. have other rituals to do right before bed like singing or anything relaxing to get her in a calm mood...all the other suggestions below are great and can be used with the story too. but most importantly, be supportive, even when it starts to get a little too much for you!! good luck

Allisondduncan - posted on 11/18/2008

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I recommend Monster BeGone. Basically, get a cheap perfume that you don't mind having to smell every night. Make a big production of spraying under the bed, in the closet, and over them as they are in bed.

Tell your child that as long as they smell the smell of Monster BeGone, they know that nothing can hurt them.

My mom did this for me as a child and it helped. I have done this on a consistent basis with my daughter [now 5] and it worked.

Your daughter is a bit older, so the trick may not work as well. But it is worth a try. Even older kids are gullible. In her case, package the perfume a lable that looks somewhat realistic and mail it to yourself [without her knowledge]. Then tell her that you went online and ordered this great new thing [play it up] and it will help keep her safe at night.

My guess is she'll come the critic and so on and so forth, but when the box arrives she'll probably be willing to give it a shot. If she comments on the perfume smell, just remind her that even natural gas is made to have a smell so that you know it's there. Blah blah. Be creative. If you act like it makes sense, she will think it does.

I hope this idea works for you. It has for many generations in my family. :)

Karen - posted on 11/18/2008

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HI, my son is six and went through a stage of having monsters in his room, I gave him a spray bottle with a bit of water and we spray away the monters at night, this has worked a treat with him.

Talya - posted on 11/18/2008

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WOW! Thanks so much. I can't believe what a great response I got. It may sound silly but I feel so supported. I will be utilizing a bit of all the advice everyone has given. Thanks for being there!

Marina - posted on 11/17/2008

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My 7 year old son gets very fearful at night as well. At bedtime I lay with him for 5 minutes or so, to help calm him. I leave before he falls asleep so that he can still fall asleep on his own. It does double duty; he calms down and I get precious cuddle time! If he wakes in the night I walk him back to bed, tuck him in and tell him I love him. We tend to go in phases where he'll be fine for weeks and then we'll have a week or two week when it seems like he comes in our room a dozen times a night! I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass :)

Deb - posted on 11/17/2008

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The advise I was given that worked was to sit next to the bed until they go to sleep. Everynight move the chair closer to the door. After a few days of this, she should know that everything is fine and that she is safe to sleep in her own bed. Good Luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/17/2008

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We place a small matress in our room next to our bed that is for the kids if they get scared and want to be next to us. They will use it for a week or two then we put it away. Just knowing that it is there if comforting to them

Nurse Ratchet AKA Chris Maynard - posted on 11/17/2008

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What my husband and I did was to let the kids sleep on the floor next to the bed but never in the bed and then when they fell asleep we would take them to their beds. Eventually they stayed in their beds. We explained to them that our bed was for us only and they could not sleep in it because it was for us. We left a night light on in their room, we gave them a special blanket and stuffed animals. This worked for us hopefully it will work for you.

Stephanie - posted on 11/17/2008

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Do you close her bedroom door at night? try leaving it open....

maybe have some nice music on low in her bedroom at night when she is going to sleep, instead of asking what she is scared of ask her why and see if she'll ellaborate on the reasoning behinds her fears?



maybe (this could get costly) helping her to redecorate a little in her room so that it's a haven for her.... she can choose colours and things that make her feel safe....

ALLISON - posted on 11/17/2008

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My daughter happens to be nine as well and scared of her own shadow! She has anxiety issues and as of recently have started taking her to talk with someone to see if we can get to the bottom of things and to better deal with her issues. It could be worth a try.......ask your family dr to suggest a psycologist or psychiatrist for kids...........

Christina - posted on 11/17/2008

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Make sure she's watching/reading positive things before bed... it may help her dream nice things and forget what she's scared of. Nightlights and "security blanket" that she can hide under ( I used to do it) might help too. Hope this helps. : )

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