Holly - posted on 10/30/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )
MY kids have had a VERY hard life growing up (heck, they are only 8 & 9 now) I was 19 when i had my first kid, and only 20 when i had my second.
back story: I was in an abusive relationship, got married, had my first daughter, a short time after that my mother called the police on my husband an he went to jail, he had ripped my hair out, my hair was EVERYWHERE! so a week after he was gone, and i had started the divorce process, i find out i am pregnant, everyone was telling me to have an abortion, i couldn't... i told them she is the same DNA as my other child...i couldn't do that... i couldn't kill my child! so i had her. the most beautiful child ever. after having her, i went through severe depression... i didn't bond with her as i did with my other... i had a hard time feeling as close.... and i felt guilty for that, which made me feel even guiltier!
fast forward 2 yrs, i met this man at church, fell in love, his family was wonderful, he had a daughter close to the same age as my youngest. we got married (too quickly) he started to resent my youngest... she was potty trained, she was talking clearly, she was VERY intelligent. his daughter wasn't stupid by any means, but she wasn't as advanced as my daughter. and any time my daughter wouldn't listen (hello she was 3, normal behavior) one time he said he walked in on her tackling his daughter... i believed him and spanked her for it.. later to find out she was hugging her and they fell, EVEN HIS DAUGHTER SAID SO!!!!! I felt HORRIBLE for not listening to my daughter, his daughter was scared to say anything at first for fear that she would be in trouble. I was so angry, i never believed him over her again, this was just the first of MANY incidents... he would get mad and tell my daughter she was just like her father (the one who abused me). The last straw was when she had disobeyed him and he spanked her and left a big red whelp on her butt.
Fast forward to the present, for those of you who are still reading (sorry it is so long) My daughter is OCD, in kindergarten (this is the time that i had just left my 2nd husband) she would only wear two outfits, they both looked the same, red and black long sleeve shirt with black leggings. she would have a complete melt down if i tried to make her dress any differently. she had a closet FULL of clothes that she would pick out at the store and say she'd wear, but then wouldn't wear them. this went for a year. when she got over that, she started a new thing that if her silverware touched the table they were then dirty, and she would not use them, they would have to be cleaned, or she would have to get new ones. this went on for months. then her new one was if anything was cleaned with windex or bleach or lysol or any cleaning products she was TERRIFIED to touch it. She had a complete melt down at the store because she thought my mother was going to die because she touched the glass door that a lady had just cleaned. we moved into a new house this past year, and she was TERRIFIED of her room. she couldn't sleep in her room by herself, she would sneak into her sister's room and sleep in there with her, then when we put a lock on her sister's door she would sneak into my room. she has HORRIBLE nightmares, recently she told me that she never has good dreams, she only has bad ones. I am sure there are other ones that i forgot to list here that she has had melt downs over... but if anyone has had a child suffer with OCD or panic disorders, if you have any hints as to how to deal with them, please let me know! I'd appreciate it.