My ODD/ADHD 14 yr old son has been running away lately

Shannon - posted on 02/25/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son has been snowballing with bad behavior lately, about two weeks ago he started stealing things like redbulls beers and cans of dip, so we took action to prevent, and locked everything up that could be harmful to him, and he has been grounded for about a week now and started running away in the middle of the night which is now costing us money we dont really have because how can parents put a price on our child's safety. so we have bought locks for the refrigerators and our bedroom, but now he is running away so we have to go buy window and door alarms... how can I put a stop to this behavior? keep in mind we have been giving him positive attention and trying to keep his mind busy at all times, this running away is really scaring me alot, i have high anxiety now and cannot sleep in fear i will wake up to find my son missing again...what do i do? what is a fail proof consequence for this action?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/26/2016

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What kind of therapy do you have him in? I'd say the ODD is causing some issues that perhaps a behaviourist could help you with.

Shannon - posted on 02/26/2016

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thanks Felix for the feedback, all good advise, although this is new behavior just starting in the last month, it is behavior i am very familiar with so i do feel better knowing i did take these steps and called it the cavalry so to speak, my son recently gave his life to Jesus and was baptize which i was very proud of this decision of his, i am not sure he fully understood what it meant. so our pastor is coming out to speak with him, plus his father stepped up and came to our home yesterday and worked with my fiance and they both have and are talking with him consistently. I also read up on on kyles age plus his adhd/odd, and learned to try and teach him to use it to his advantage. we are also taking him out to eat tonight to talk with him about how he would like us to help him more. we do tell him we understand about his age of experiments and tell him to just be honest with us about his curiosity and we would be happy to tell him know why its ok or not ok to try. i do understand that the ultimate deision is up to him on his choices now that he is getting older and that he has so many people to help him through this time in his life. he just needs to open up to someone he trust so we are able to guide him down the right path. kyle also goes to an alternative school that i work with very closely and he is actually doing excellent there. he is in a classroom with 5 kids to 2 teachers. they have been in informed about his behavior at home as well. again thank you for easing my mind and your great feedback it was very helpful! god bless!

Felixwad - posted on 02/25/2016

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Hi Shannon, when did you notice this behavior of his? What action steps did you take to check-mate his movement? Before now is he involves in alcohol? Did you take time to ask about his behavior in School, any recent comments about his lifestyle by his Teachers or friends? Remember at his age, he will want to practice lot of things, mixed up with young girls, boys of his mate. But nevertheless, there is hope for your boy. Be positive about him, see him as a good boy and don't always challenge him seeing doing wrong things, always call is attention and ask him why he behaves this way. If there are adult mature men, men who are responsible and have good morals, talk to this men to help talk to your boy, because boys seems to listen to men who have influence on them. Also talk to the Schools if there is a way of correcting him. Don't loose sleep over him, but you have to pray more for him. The devil is fighting a lost battles. Remember, the more you prevent him not to take beer or other things from the fridge you worsen the situation, he will indulge in others things you know not about. Sit him down and listen to him most time, tell him the danger behind his behavior, I believe God he will be a change good boy in no time. Felix

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