my one and only 3 year old daughter started daycare more like kindergarten is a home based ,only 8 student per session, she doesnt like going there,instead we ued playcentre before and was child initiated play she used to love it there,and she tells me that she wants to go to playcentre and not daycare.What shall i do.I need advice,i am worried.but in playcentre its child initiated play.and here the teacher have set some rules.so i am not sure what to do.coz i dont wanna to pressure my 3yr old.very precious to me,playcentre is only 2 days a week,and daycare 3days or even 4dys depends,
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 11/07/2012
I would go ahead and keep her at the daycare/preschool. She is used to it there, and she does know the people. Putting her into another different situation may be a bit stressful for her, and more difficult.
I would also go with the teacher on the recommendation to not go to playcentre, but rather encourage her to go to school at daycare, with her friends there. That way, she'll get used to the structure, and she'll also get used to you telling her that she can't have it her way all the time, which will cut down on fits when you have to start telling her no a lot more (because as they get older it seems that we spend a heck of a lot of time saying "You can't do that")
Use the "Big Girl" gambit. Let her know what a big girl she is for transitioning to the daycare/preschool setting. Keep reinforcing that big girls like school, and listening to teacher, etc. (Keep this in mind for when you have your second child, because then you change "big girl" to "big sister", and you've got a ready made helper!)
Its really, really hard to know if you're doing alright with your little ones. Especially your first! But, a wise lady once told me that the good parents are always questioning whether they're doing the right thing, and that's what makes them good parents!
Feel free to PM me if you need a shoulder, or just to vent. I bet your little one is precious!
Shania - posted on 11/07/2012
thanks shawn for ur reply.appreciate it.yes coz its my 1st child aat the moment,i dont have much experience.but now i understand what my child is doing. thats what i actually felt,it seems she was getting abused the way she was doing,but i was wrong,at this stage shes home from this week.i will try taking her to kindergarten next year,hopefully everythin goes well than,teacher also told me not to take her to playcentre instead keep her home,and once shes bored shes gonna say that she wanna go to school.hope this will work i dont know.what u think shall her take her to same school or different one where she hasnt been before.
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 11/05/2012
Sounds to me like your precious is learning how to fight the system. Sounded like she was adapting well, until the teacher started to reinforce some of the structure, and now that she can't have it "her way", she's going to tell you that she doesn't like it.
Which is your cue to explain that there are things in life that we all have to do. Structured play isn't a bad thing. Children learning (from a young age) to follow directions from different people than their parents isn't a bad thing. You need to reinforce with her that it is her job right now to listen to teacher and do as she's told in daycare. It will be a good transition time into preschool and, eventually primary school.
My eldest tried that once. Tried to get me to think that he was being horribly abused by our caregiver, and that he absolutely hated it at her house...when in actuality what he hated was structure, and not having his way all the time.
So, the sooner you teach her about structure, and don't give into her crying fits because she doesn't want to go...the better things will be. You know that teacher will keep her end consistent, and you need to keep your end consistent as well.
Shania - posted on 11/05/2012
thanks christy.when i first joined i was there for two days after that she was ajusted properly, and i was satisfied that she's gud,she use to say lets go now my friends waiting,and suddenly from second week she said she dont wanna go, she dont like it,shes very gud at making friends.she learnt alot about interaction and how to make friends in playcentre.so i spoke to teacher one day she said 1st two weks i dont say anything and from 3rd wek they ned to folow rules maybe thats y.also i think the teacher is a bit strict.she had already made friends there and knows every childs name there.i think is the teacher she doesnt get along with,and in playcentre i use to be there.its mother whos the teacher in playcentre,playcentre stil open for us,as we stil part of it. what i will do is go to another preschool and visit and two dys a wek we'l go to plycentre,and in the startin of this daycare the teacher seems not to like me staying there for a wek or so.ur comments is helpful
Cmoline32 - posted on 11/05/2012
I would suggest (if you can) going and spending part of or an entire day there with her a few times. It is your right to be there and see what she is doing each day. Maybe that will give you some insight as to why she doesn't like it. Is it too hard? Does she not get along with the other children or the teacher? Or is this just an issue of her not liking the change, being told what to do instead of getting to do what she wants to do all of the time? Of course you want her to be happy, but she also will have to learn that she is going to have to follow rules and do what the teacher says when she goes to school. If you visit and feel that this daycare isn't a good fit, then you can decide whether to take her back to the playcentre or to try another day care/preschool.
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