My one year old doesnt sleep!!!

Karissa - posted on 04/04/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )




I have a one year old boy, he is my second child. He does not sleep through the night, he is waking literally every half an hour through the night, but for no apparent reason, He doesnt want a drink, or to be changed, or too hot/cold, or even to play NOTHING, He just wakes and cries, I have tried leaving him doing the controlled crying, but he than gets louder and gets a real scream happening, until I finally give in to him. I dont know what to do. I am at my whits end with him, Ive tried everything that I can think of and different things that have been recommended to me, I dont know what else to do, I have spoken to doctors and they just say he will get better. But when i dont know.... Its really getting to me, to the point where I am constantly living with miagrains, being sick and crying, I have no energy which is hard when I have a three year... Please help me I dont know what else to do... :'(


[deleted account]

here's a hug from a mum whose (first) child didn't sleep either. everyones story is different but i hopefully can offer you some encouragement through mine:

my worst time was once my second child had been born called JP with the non sleeper called RD being 18m and literally makng himself ill by refusing to sleep. we resorted to all sorts of things which i wouldn't normally advocate but when you're in desperation land - like you are with migraines you should give yuour permission to do anything crazy and deal with consequences when you've had some sleep!

firstly don't give child bananas before bed or after 6pm - they slowly release energy and may cause waking.

we put a dvd in his room which sometimes worked

we got a sofa bed for the lounge so sometimes we could take him downstairs so he didn't wake the baby

we llived for a number of months (too long in hindisght) in complete exhaustion and then when baby was 4m and RD non sleeper was 22m we did controlled crying. it took two horrible weeks (for lots of people its much quicker - some say only a few days) we followed it to the letter, doubling the minutes between each popping head in firmly sayng 'go to sleep'. the screaming was loud. we apologsed to the neighbours sayng long temr it would be better. we did controlled crying on every wake up cos you have to be consistent.

the results were good but RD still insisted until he was 3 and half that he and we should start the day at 4.30am - so in desperation land we did.

as baby gets older you can introduce sticker reward charts they work well from around 18m.

long term RD still isn't a great sleeper and would prefer it if we let him only have 8 hours a night rather than 12 but he has got the hang of it.

good luck, try anything, have confidence and don't compare yourself or your situ with anyone who happens to have a perfect sleeping baby! (from experience its so unhelpful).


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[deleted account]

I need to ask you if it ever got any better for you... I myself am going through the same thing with my almost 1 year old, and I need some serious encouragement. I've sobbed from being so tired all day for the past 2-3 days and I just wanna know that even though all of this is not working, there will eventually be relief :(

Karissa - posted on 04/06/2010




Thank you all so much... I am just so confused with it all... He eats solids and has done since he was only one month he has his milk and drinks water, plays and is also very healthy. I have tried phenergon (also perscribed) and it honestly did nothing. I have tried the tv in the room slow relaxation music, baby meditation, massage, everything... I just dont know what to do. I have been to sleep clinics and still no change, its like he just wants to go all the time. I feel terrible cos I have no energy for my three year old who wants to play and do activities, we used to do stuff all the time but now I am just a wreck. I guess I will just have to keep perservering with different doctors and remedies until I find something that works... I wouldnt care if he slept for just 5 hours a night straight through, It would be great but he just doesnt :'(

Jen - posted on 04/06/2010




oh my i do feel for u i thought my 16 month was bad not sleeping through n half the night he will cum in our beds but he deso have a couple of hours sleep he just wakes for sips of his drinks now n again n then wakes at 5am

Tracey - posted on 04/06/2010




Hi I have 6 children, 4 of them slept through the night from birth but my 3rd child didn't sleep through the night till he was 6 years old, he was very hyper during the day and continued through the night. My youngest is 3 she also does not sleep through the night, i've tried everything but i do know that it will happen one day , it's just when she is ready. All children are different they achieve things at different times.

Carinswart - posted on 04/06/2010




I am having exactly the same problem with my 15 month old boy (my first and only). He takes between 1 - 2 hours to settle from about 6:30/7 (after having had very little sleep during the day). Once he is asleep, he wakes up continually throughout the night. If I take him from his cot and put him into bed with me he can fuss/kick/scratch/toss and turn for about 2 hours before he goes back to sleep again. Giving him a bottle does not help most of the time. I am also at my wits end and don't know what to do from here. I suspect some of the problem may come in because I have had to start him at daycare in the afternoons. his nanny has to go in for a big operation and he will have to be in daycare for 6 weeks full day...but this may be a small part of the problem. For this reason I am hesistant to sleep train him as he is already dealing with quite a lot with daycare issues.

He eays very well and is a very healthly little boy. His nanny absolutely loves him and he gets lots of love during the day. He never eats sweets/chocolates/only veggies and complex carbs & protein. Doesn't watch tv and is allowed lots of play so I am at a total loss why he shoudn't be exhausted at the end of the day.

Dawn - posted on 04/05/2010




I am so sorry. My #2 woke every 2 hours around the clock for 10 months...but it was because she wanted to eat. Still, I was to the point where I couldn't remember getting up to get her because I was so sleep deprived. I remember it got to the point that I asked my husband if he had gotten her and he looked at me strangely and told me I had. I had NO memory of it whatsoever...which kind of freaked me out. The headaches, the exhaustion, etc. absolutely stinks and is so much harder when you have an older little one to care for. Unfortunately, I don't have any great solutions other than time....and I think you are in a position where you need more help than waiting it out.

I think it might be time to check with another doctor if your current doctors won't help and really lay it out there. Don't hold back or make the best of it when explaining what is going on. Feel free to break down and cry. Sometimes you really have to push a little to get the help you need. Perhaps even taking a 24-48 hour log of what your days/nights are like with him.

I have had some friends who have used melatonin (which is a natural drug) with their kids VERY effectively...but it was under the advice of their doctor and I can't remember how old their little ones were at the time. It might be something to check into, at least.

May you rest better than expected tonight.

Louise - posted on 04/05/2010




You are living my life 13 years ago. My son at 1 did the same and I also had a 31/2 year old to look after in the day. This went on for 6 months solid no sleep day or night I went to the doctors and he perscribed phenergon which is for travel sickness with a side affect of drowsiness. This I used for three nights which was enough to kick start my sons sleeping pattern and put his body clock back to normal. I know phenergon is now band for use under the age of 2 but the ingredients have not changed only govenment guidelines. I am not an advocate for druging children and I have never used it since but like you sound I just could not cope any more with two children and no sleep. Go back to your gp and tell him that you are close to collapse and see if he can reccomend something that will help your sons body clock return to day pland and night sleep. Good luck don't worry something will be available to return your life to reality. xx

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