My one year old wakes up during the night and I can't get him to go back to sleep unless I put him in bed with me.I'm not sure how to break it!

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[deleted account]

My girls were never in my bed on a regular basis past 3 months and from 3-12ish months... only super rarely for part of a night when sick. No habit to be 'broken'.

My son, on the other hand, has been in my bed (or at least my room) since birth since I am a single mom now and he HAS no room of his own. He's 3.5 now and is finally starting to spend MOST of his nights in his own bed (our beds are right next to each other). He WAS in his bed earlier, but after spending 4 weeks w/ his father over the summer.... that boy wasn't getting out of my bed (even if that meant only being 3 feet away from me) for anything. ;)

None of this probably helps YOU, but the thing is... if you don't want to have to 'break' a habit... don't let a child start it. If you DO let the child start it.... 'breaking' it should be done at their pace and w/ sensitivity. Good luck!

Kellie - posted on 11/09/2011

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Children are not pets and do not need to be broken. Climbing into your parents bed and snuggling with you Mummy for comfort is a bad habit? Wow...

Kellie - posted on 11/09/2011

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I wish people wouldn't use the word 'break' in the same sentence as 'child'.

I'm with Erin, it's perfectly normal and while it may be uncomfortable for you he will grow out of it and go back to sleeping on his own all night. In the meantime let him have his Mummy Comfort.

Ez - posted on 11/09/2011

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Don't. Let him get the comfort and security he needs by sleeping with you. Many many babies and toddlers do this (including my own). They start the night out in their bed and then want to be with mum. It's perfectly normal.

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[deleted account]

You are so not alone in this & it is not unusual. My 3 1/2 year old was a bad sleeper since birth & wouldn't sleep unless touching me. So since I breast fed she would co-sleep, forget trying to take her out of the bed, she could scream for hours.



Now at almost 4 she does have her own room & bed, but can never settle in there & since I am pregnant with baby #4 I just gave up & bought a king sized bed.



My 2nd child is that urban legend champion sleeper that all she needs is her crib & blanket and she is good, she never wanted a thing to do with co-sleeping.



My 1 yr old boy, forget it. Screaming head butting fits in the crib & he wants to sleep in this little shoe box co-sleeper next to the bed. When he is hungry in the middle of the night he pops up and crawls in bed with me.



Your not alone, it is not unusal. I am making SLOW progress with my older child, but for your own sanity you may just want to get a bigger bed.



Kinda secretly I don't mind all the extra people in my bed. They are only this tiny & lovey for a short period of time, and before we know it they will be teenagers.



I tried for hours every night returning my girl to her bed over & over & over until it started to impair my ability to function due to lack of my own sleep. So I got a bigger bed. My husband tried to pressure me into making her sleep in her own bed, but never wanted to help do it. She would become so upset I just thought it was cruel to continue with something that made her so upset.

Amanda - posted on 11/10/2011

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Ok though I agree with the woman about breaking sleeping habits with children I will actually give you advice. Mind you this is will not work in a night, it will take prob at least a week maybe two. But here are the rules to sleep training a child right (since he is one)



When he comes into your room, you pick him up, put him back in his room, kiss him good night and leave.



If he returns to your room (and he will), put him back in his room, politely remind him this is his bed.



When he returns agian (and he will) put him back in his bed and dont say a word to him. Do this until he falls asleep.



Note, you will have sleepless nights, with way less sleep then you are getting now, but once you start this training you can not stop it. It will send mix messages to your boy, and he will learn as long as he gets out of bed so many times you will give in.

Kelina - posted on 11/09/2011

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when it impairs my ability to be a good mom it's a habit that needs to be broken. It's not necessarily a bad one. But your statement seemed to apply to all references of break and child in the same sentence. How about the habit of nail biting, the habit of picking their nose till it bleeds etc. Are these not habits that should be broken? And while kids aren't pets, they do need guidance and parents need to know their limits. It's ok to break habits that don't work for your family. Breaking their spirits on the other hand which seems to be the way you are referring to it I would agree with but habits are something else.

Kelina - posted on 11/09/2011

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Have you tried putting him back into his own bed once he's asleep? Or, if you're nursing, nursing him to sleep? Rocking, lullaby's , I'm assuming you have a problem with it for some reason. I could never sleep properly when my kids were in bed with me and wound up moody and depressed during the day. You could look into some differnent sleep training books, I've heard good things about the sleep solution, but what worked well for me was the ferber method. I used it on both my kids and they both sleep through the night in their own beds. However it doesn't work for anyone and not everyone is comfortable with it. One thing you could try, is if he wakees up every night around the same time, try going into his room 5-10 minutes beforehand, rousing him and maybe putting a blanket on him, but keeping him calm, quiet and drowsy maybe while snuggling with him.. Then put him back down. After a few nights, push it forward 15 minutes. then another 15 minutes. then just wait until he wakes up. It might be an idea to try. and Kellie why should we not try to break our childrens habits if they are bad habits or interfere with our ability to be a good mother?

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