my only child's death

Antoinette - posted on 06/23/2014 ( 13 moms have responded )

5

0

1

My only child died 6 months ago and I live in constant
sorrow . I live in reverse...I'm a single mom and I lost my mother, sister, and son all w/in 4 years.
I loved them all...but the love I feel for Ariel, my son is unparalleled. And so is my grief.
My daily mantra, please God let me die.
I'm strong but broken ...I'm angry at life's curelty.But mostly, I yearn to exhaustion for my child's life.
Yet it shall not be...and I just want to die. He was too young. And my bliss...what now.

13 Comments

View replies by

Bek - posted on 07/05/2014

85

0

9

Sorry Gina but I can't find it. I'm kinda new 2 all this but I assume you meant in my email inbox & if so , perhaps I unwittingly deleted it :(
Would you mind re-posting it plz? Sorry 4 the trouble :)

Gena - posted on 06/27/2014

303

1

655

Thank you for your kind words Bek.I am also very sorry to read that you lost your brother..its realy very hard to even find words. Losing a loved one is so hard, life changing. I would like to ask you some questions,i will send you a private message. Thanks alot, big hugs!

Bek - posted on 06/26/2014

85

0

9

Gina. I'm so glad you found someone you are more at ease with, whom you can share your deepest scars. I can't fathom having to hold my loved one in my arms & share that last breath. How brave you are. You sound like a lovely natured, giving soul & I pray for yours & all others, for the release of that dull ache each time it crosses your mind. I appreciate that you liked my post, thank-u. Anytime you need a chat, I'm here..
Love & light to you & yours. X

Tina - posted on 06/26/2014

4

0

1

I am so sorry for your loss! It is so terrible. I live with it daily. I lost two babies(before they were born) and the pain cuts so deep! I also lost my husband, my mother and father and my brother. I can feel for you so very deeply. It does get different. I live everyday in such a way to be sure that when I do pass that I will go to heaven and get to see them once again. I will be praying for you as you go through this. There is so many steps to grieving, and anger is one of them. I am here for you.
Tina

Bek - posted on 06/26/2014

85

0

9

My poor, poor, anguished darling. I bite back the tears at your enormous loss & strength. What can I possibly say that might relieve, if just alittle, your deep & unimaginable sadness. I am so, so very sorry for all your heartache. Just know that you were blessed to have had these special souls in your life & everyone of them guides you now. As for your most precious, what a gift to have had him at all. Relish in the beautiful times you had together & just know in your heart of hearts that you will be reunited when the time is right. I believe we are never given anything we can not endure, whatever that may be. I too have experienced the grief of having my older brother (who was my best friend) taken away from me & my family at just 24yrs old. I never thought I would get over it but I have learnt to adjust after many many years & embraced loving him from afar. I still talk to him, after close to 20years. I do hope you can connect with alittle of what I've said & you are in my thoughts. I am here for you...

Antoinette - posted on 06/25/2014

5

0

1

I am sorry for you and your families terrible loss.

words are too inadequate to describe the shock of a child's death.

again, than you for sharing with me your personal loss.

antoinette
`

Antoinette - posted on 06/25/2014

5

0

1

Gena,

So sorry to hear of your sisters death. Words are too inadequate to convey the breath of sorrow the death of a child brings.

And you were only a child yourself when your sister died- even if you were a bit older - still so young to suffer a loss like yours.

thank you for your kind and generous response.
Sharing with me your tragedy is meaningful in that I know- tragically I am not alone and my hope is to learn from others how to live on.

antoinette

Gena - posted on 06/25/2014

303

1

655

I cant even imagine what you must be going through..My 10yr old sister died in my arms when i was 16. I saw how it affected my parents,the whole family. Its good that you take your time for grieving. And if you ever want to write to me,feel free.Its always nice if somebody has an open ear. I personely quit going to my therapist because he didnt help me and i didnt feel comfertable with him. I found another one, a woman, and she was way better. I hope you see a good therapist. Like i said,write to me any time!

Antoinette - posted on 06/24/2014

5

0

1

I see a therapist. But she can't take away my anquish.

I'm trying to live ( losely said) w/ my grief.

Thanks for responding.

Antoinette

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms