My out of control 3 year old son

Ashley - posted on 01/15/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 3 year old son has got way to out of control. He does not listen when asked to do anything. He throws fits and ignores me. I need advice/help on how to get this under control as he is a growing smart young boy. I do not want him to think he is control and I believe that is where it is going.


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Megan - posted on 01/15/2014




I have always felt that three is much more challenging than two. Two's are still easily distracted... three's want to rule the show. A very consistent routine and trying to stay upbeat really help. Little games like... time to put the toys away, how long do you think it will take 10 or 20? Okay on your mark, get set, go! Then count slowly while you and son quickly put toys away. Works for getting dressed too. Do you think we can get your shirt and pants on before I count to 10? Also using a timer ... mommy will play with you for 20 minutes but when the timer goes off i have to make dinner. Awwww, the timer went off you play while mommy makes dinner. Totally ignore tantrums. Just walk a few steps away and say let me know when you are done. I love these books, they help put a childs behaviour into perspective so you don't get pulled in to the drama. You can get it used on amazon for really cheap.
Hang in there...lots of praise for good behavior, ignore tantrums, try to make things that need to be done fun... but be consistent if you have to discipline.

Ev - posted on 01/15/2014




Amelia--I have to disagree with that.

You needed to set boundaries from day one with him. Teach him what is acceptable and not acceptable by example, redirection, and time outs or other forms of consequences that are suitable for young ages.

At three years of age, he is old enough to understand most of what you say. He is going to push buttons to see how far he can go and how much he can get away with. This behavior is learned early and is used through out growing up to the maximum benefit. When you have to tell him no for something he wants, for something he does like climbing on furniture, places he wants to go; you need to be firm in your decision to not allow it. As he gets older you can explain in terms he will understand why he can not do, go or have things his way. If he tosses a fit, actively ignore it. THat way you can still keep an eye on him so he does not get hurt but he does not see you actually noting his behavior. If a fit is tossed in public, I do not care what you are there for, leave. Once you have done some of these a few times he will get the idea. Make him earn what he wants to do, to have or go to. He can do chores to help around the house, and yes at three they can pick up toys and put them in the toybox. As he gets older give chores appropriate for the age. Make sure when he starts school he does homework before video games, television, cell phones, computers and other things considered fun things. Once you establish this, he should follow through. But give consequences that go with the rule not followed.

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