my partner committed suicide and i can't cope

Mandy - posted on 11/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I lost my partner to suicide a year ago, he was the love of my life and I am so lost without him. People tell me that time heals but it has not for me. There were no warning signs as he had never suffered from mental illness so it was a complete shock to me. We did not have children and I just struggle every second of the day to want to live without him. I have all the questions, the what if's and why's and I just feel like I am going mad.I live in the UK and although there are websites and forums there seems to be so much more information and help in the US. I am just so broken and feel that nothing matters without him. I long for him and just can never recover from this. He was my life and I have nothing left now. I have a wonderful family but they cannot fill the hole I have in my heart. The feeling of despair is so overwhelming.......

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Maureen Brennan - posted on 11/11/2013

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I am so sorry for your tremendous loss.
The grieving process takes time and work.
The questions from your pain have no answer. So please do not focus on those questions because that will only keep you stuck, going in circles. Instead focus on your healing from this great loss.
What I do to deal with grief from all the losses in my life is this:
I take time in the morning to cry from the depth of my pain. Then I meditate and pray beginning with prayers for me, my loved ones who have passed and all my loved ones. Then I feel the relief after handing myself and all my loved ones over to the God of my understanding. I focus on my intentions for the day.
Then I tell myself that the rest of the day is for me to live my life. So I pull myself up, tapping into my inner strength and then focus on the mundane things. What do I need to do now in the moment? This helps me to stay focused in the here and now and to LIVE. Is it time for breakfast, get ready for work, make phone calls, pay the bills, visit a friend, take a walk, buy groceries - I make a list and check each thing off as I do it.
I know from experience that:
I can't rush this grieving process.
Crying is good for me for a designated portion of the day - not all day long
My emotions are energy that need to be released, not held onto
That a loss may never be understood from the human perspective
Obsessive thoughts keep you stuck
Be aware of the obsessive thoughts about the loss and INTERRUPT THEM, then switch your focus to pray, affirmations and being in the moment
Self Love and self care are essential
Increase your support system: friends, counselor, support group
Write about what you feel as a way to release the pain
Do positive things for self that bring you JOY
Remind yourself that you are alive and you deserve to fully live a life of quality
Do the work of grieving, letting go of obsessive thoughts, and loving and caring for yourself and you will be on the road to healing

Love & Blessings,
Maureen Brennan Mercier
check out my articles on grieving, letting go of obessive thoughts and more
www.Psychicreiki.com

Maria - posted on 11/11/2013

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Mandy...you need to go to a grief counselor. Nobody would be able to cope, but you need to get help. Good luck

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