My Partner is having continuing problems with his ex using his child as ammo

Louise - posted on 03/17/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My partner is having continuous problems with his ex we have always gone to pick up his daughter on a Friday and the mother or her partner pick her up on a sunday. last year she decided to put a stop to this and stop him seeing his daughter until he agreed with her new agreements.
She has made my partner aware that she hates me even though I haven't spoke to her or seen her much.
I am now pregnant and she is bringing trouble to my home and chucking verbal abuse at me upsetting my partners daughter.
she is now wanting my partner to pick up at different points and not to have me involved but is happy for her partner to always be there to intimidate my partner.
Its getting out of hand and I'm struggling with money for petrol due to the distance of travelling when she comes to mine to pick her daughter up she doesn't even see me, but when we have to meet her somewhere else she has to see me as its my car.Also when I mention to my partner that when baby comes I can not be running backwards and forwards he gets cross about it.
We can not go to a solicitors now as we can not get any help with cost which is really hard.
Can anyone suggest some advice as its stressing me out really bad.

7 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 03/18/2014

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Yes, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do until you file custody orders. You are going to have to save that money. She probably knows you can't afford it and is milking it for all it is worth. I don't know the legal system where you live, but I would recommend keeping a diary and noting down everything that happens (the good and the bad), and then you will have some evidence of the games.

Having said that, however, why is it your petrol money and your car? Does your partner have no money? Also, I am not understanding why you have to be doing all the running around. Does your partner not have a licence? To me it would be logical for him to be doing the running around when your baby comes.

Louise - posted on 03/18/2014

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I think that would be best too, we went to a solicitors and they wanted £1000 upfront

Michelle - posted on 03/18/2014

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Sorry but if there aren't any court orders then there's not much he can do. I would suggest seeing if you qualify for legal aid and get to court ASAP!!! Not for your partner or ex, for this poor child.

Louise - posted on 03/18/2014

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Hi jodi, neither of them can afford court they have done mediation and to be honest that was just a joke. None of the arrangements have been adered to by the mother.

Louise - posted on 03/17/2014

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They were never married, access has always been weekends and she has changed that now to alternate weekends half and every 4th weekend we don't have her, but this was because she wanted more time with her yet she is working when his daughter is there so she is with her step father.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/17/2014

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This needs to be addressed by your partner, with his solicitor, in court. If one or the other is not adhering to the original orders in the divorce, it needs to be revisited.

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