My partner left me for a young girl while I'm pregnant!

Ashleigh Jenna - posted on 05/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm desperate for any advice and help. I'm 24 years old and my ex is 26, my ex and I were together 3 1/2 years and I was so in love and he seemed so too. We never had and trust issues things were great until about a year ago he developed an alcohol addiction around a time he was having problems through the courts with his 7 year old son. He has been dad to my daughter who is now 4 and they've always been so close so the break up has affected her also. Our relationship got to a bad stage in the last 6 months as I tried so hard to get him help etc and it got to the point I was so depressed and bitter. When I found out we were pregnant I was so excited and he seemed ecstatic also then in my 8th week of pregnancy we had an arguement and he packed up and left. He met a 17 year old at a party within a week (he's never been one to go out) and a few days later they're official and it's all over Facebook. I was devastated, the worst feeling. However he did still contact me and a week ago broke up with her to try make amends with me and stayed here for a week but after a minor disagreement he fled and that same day picked her up and moved her in with him and has completely cut me off. The last things he said were he's lost all feelings for me, he's in love with her and she's the best thing that's happened to him along with bragging how they've already talked babies. They've only known each other 5 weeks!! I keep hoping he will come to his senses and come home and be a family but it just doesn't look that way. What do you all think? I am lost at how to move on I've tried counselling and I don't feel any better


Karen - posted on 09/01/2014




I did what you did for 3 men in a row before I got hurt enough to finally do the hard work of truly looking at the whole picture. I had to see my girls could not keep going through the patterns of these relationships. I had to see it was all about addiction. He would stay with me while the experience was getting him "high" enough to feel good about himself. I was addicted to "saving" an addict. New women in his life, plus new challenges such as dating an underage girl like your guy is doing brought him temporary highs. When I could win my guy back from a younger sexier girl, I got the high of feeling better about myself. I had to truly learn to understand this. NO one can love anyone more than they love their own self. I can't. He doesn't. He won't someday sometime somewhere pick me if I do one more thing or one better thing. He will just keep spiraling down. I will keep following him down into the darkness and pain. That is why it is called an addiction ... not love. Love lifts you up.. and does not put you down.
Do the work. It will bring you what you are looking for. Love you enough and your children more than your need to get high off a relationship with this kind of guy. Get your own addiction dealt with instead of trying to deal with the addictions this man has. Your kids need you to do this.. yesterday already!

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