my pregnancy

Alexis - posted on 08/27/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My baby was a planned pregnancy . When I found out I was pregnant things went completely wrong . He told me he had unprotected sex with somebody else , and he was seeing somebody else . My parents weren't very supportive at the beginning , after awhile they came around but everything I told them they used it against me and made fun of me . My child father put his hands on me , I hit them with a glass bottle to defend myself . I then keyed his car . It's been a lot of back and forward since then with lawyers , courts , attorneys , and police . He is 29 , I'm 21 , and the girl he was seeing is 17 . I always tried to make it a point to make things better for my child but it always backfired in my face . I have 5 months pregnant now an we are still going through the same thing . He tells me now he has another child on the way and I believe . I felt like he just replaced my baby with another baby and he didn't care bout my baby at the beginning . He's the one that wanted a baby and I agreed to it . Now , I'm left with all the responsibilities and he is off free or whatever he's doing . I don't want my baby in the middle of our nonsense . I want the best for her and nothing but the best . I tried so hard cause another man aided me as his own but I didn't know anything bout my real father til I was 20 years of age . I'm starting not to want anything to do with him at all , like not giving my name is last name , letting him see my baby , just shutting him out . He run the streets , don't take care of his first son , does cocaine , put his hands on me , and his a record ! Help !!!!!!!!

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Raelene - posted on 08/27/2015

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Yep, you are left with the responsibility of this child, and it will not be easy. But I suggest you run and as fast as you can away from him, and don't I REPEAT don't lower your standards to his level- re car keying ect. Also the saying" once a hitter always a hitter" and you cannot take that chance. I really do hope you get support and love from the babies grandparents, if it were not for my Mum and Dad I reckon I would have ended up a basket case. I have 5 sons, receive a grand total of $20 a fortnight from him, I work 3 jobs, 49 hrs a week, but have the weekends off. The boys are now 25 down to 14 yrs of age and are the greatest young men you could find. Yes, you do hurt, I drank to try and stop the pain, I was at a stage I would have put a sailor to shame how much I could drink. Now i see it as what a waste of time letting him see how much he had hurt and he wanted to see me fail. It pisses him off big time now to see me succeed and the boys really don't want anything to do with him. I now have a lovely home, mind you it will take me yrs to pay it off. But I want to leave something for my boys. As i said it will be hard work and lots of sacrifice, but when you can look back at your child as a great adult, it is well worth it. I wish you all the best.

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Jodi - posted on 08/27/2015

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I'm with Sarah, You can name the baby whatever you like, but you don't get to choose whether he sees his child or not. As soon as the baby is born, file for custody, visitation and child support orders.

Can I just point out that you chose to PLAN a pregnancy with this man and yet 5 months later he won't be a good enough father? He didn't just change overnight, you know - he was like that when you planned this pregnancy with him too.

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2015

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You can choose to give the baby your last name if you want, but you cannot unilaterally decide that he has no right to see his own child. You both are obligated to support the baby and you are both equally entitled to parent. File for child support, confirm paternity and file for sole custody if that is what you want. Ultimately it is up to a judge if the father gets to parent or not.

Alexis - posted on 08/27/2015

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Thank you so much ! I needed that . My baby is my first priority and his last . I can want to do tit for tat anymore . I just want to love my baby and be the best mother . Thank you so much and I bet you are a wonderful mother !

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