My sister wont let me see my niece and it saddens me daily.

Mel - posted on 11/26/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My younger sister and I had a disagreement concerning my nieces health and now she wont let me see her. My niece is 22months now and ive had her almost every weekend since she was two weeks old. Supporting the sister with her new edition and My sister knows how much we love my niece, Im so over having these spurts of sadness wondering how she is and missing her smile and hearing her little voice while tears slowly start to come out of no where. I knew it wasn't a good idea telling my sister her house is never clean and that it isn't healthy for my niece especially to have mould on the clothes she wears let alone all the towels she owns, created by being to lazy to do the washing everyday instead of leaving them in the washing basket to rot. Shes done this with my niece before I couldn't bare it and I had to apologise to her, just so I could see my niece again. I didn't enjoy apologising for telling her she needed to make her baby the number one priority, no matter what. Every-time I saw her after that, conversations with her seemed fake and she seemed to have a "yeah you dont tell me what to do attitude" and every-time I saw something concerning my nieces health that had to be addressed I had to bite my tongue. Then I did it again, but why should we suffer and why should my niece be deprived of mine and my families love and the joy that we feel & share with her when shes around! I feel so helpless and fear that I may find out later on in life that there actually is something I could do to show our baby how much we really care for her, Im more lost knowing my mother dosent like the filth either but she makes excuses for her and her disgusting habbits, (None of us can stand to live like that,) she tells me to stop being horrible and just help her even though you can clearly see my sister dosent want anyones help or advice, especially if it involves work. My mother wont even enforce the hygienic, cleanliness trait that we have, "on her". I understand the way I told her made her upset but to tell me to stay away from her and my niece, it just doesn't feel right to keep a baby, "even though it is her baby," away from a good hearted, caring and loving family who will die for this baby. "It hurts," it feels like the bond that my niece had with us is slowly getting weaker and it hurts because my niece dosent know how much we really care for her. I just bowled over there once, my sister started to make a big seen, I got mad and threatened her before I realised my poor niece heard me say that to her mum!!! :-( ("I wont dare do that again".) What I could do, to not only be able to see my niece but to be able to communicate the things my little sister needs to brush up on without creating conflict? My little sister is the baby out of 4 siblings, shes had extra special attention and love from all of us especially mum and dad since she was born as she is a twin but her twin died a day after they were born and It was a miracle that she lived because she had two life threatening holes in her little heart. :-( I have had a lot of time for my sister also, did anything for her, But now that she has a baby, she needs to realise its not about her anymore, she needs to do the best she can do, give her baby everything she needs and deserves. Focus on creating a better future for baby and really think about what she is doing by keeping us apart, because even though it hurts us it's our baby that's missing out! :-( ohhhhh tear, If anyone has read all this, sorry for the long story, I just thought I might get a more helpful response.

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Ev - posted on 11/26/2015

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I think it sounds like though this may sound harsh to call in family services on her to see the conditions she is living in with that child and maybe take custody.

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Sarah - posted on 11/28/2015

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Mel, I am not sure I understand your last response, but I am with Evelyn. If you niece is constantly living in filth and wearing dirty clothing, she could get very ill. It may not be received well, but you must put the child's well-being first and let CPS investigate. However, be prepared for you sister to be very resentful and do not assume that you will get custody or even be allowed visitation with your niece. It all depends on what action CPS takes.

Mel - posted on 11/26/2015

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Love this: Powered by RESPECT, I will head over there today and with this, I will put into action asap, I know this, OMG, I cant believe I forgot about this knowledge, I knew that I shouldn't have put my intentions across the way I did but at the time, I felt that was the only way she would hear me, Ohhhhh Nooooo.............After reading this, took a few minutes to sink in but finally things are a lot clearer now, Feeling relieved that I can now see a definite solution to help work things out for the better of everybody especially my sister and her gorgeous baby and at the same time Bumbed because only now I realise I wasn't helping anyone, "My Baby", at all. :-( You have no idea how grateful I am for this feedback, 22months of weight has just been lifted, I feel so muchlighter and things seem brighter, just thinking about the enormous change that this is going to make in our lives again, Feeling blessed right now, Today is gonna be an amazing one, Thankyou soooooo much, I'm gonna get busy now, Awsome ideas have popped into my head, Sharing this, Starting with enlarging the middle part of "Powered by Respect" and many more Positive, Encouraging, Constructive, Spirit Lifting "Quotes" on "Plaques, Canvas, Old Stained Wood", etc. Reminders all over our homes, xmas prezzies for the whole family, loving this feeling, :-) :-) Mwahhhhhh

Mel - posted on 11/26/2015

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I am considering on going that route, just wonna have one last go at tryna get the sister to clean up her act otherwise thankyou for your opinion, its helped me clarify that im not wrong in thinking about doing that.

Cheers Evelyn

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