My son

Aimee - posted on 07/21/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am 34 years old my son is 9 years old now i left my son for short i just want to discuss my situation. My 9 years son is matured kid he clean the house. He had a sense of humor. For me he still a baby but my husband want him to be perfect. He treat him like a slave. Work hard. He hates him to sit on his coach watching tv. My son clean the whole house everyday. He always obey his command until one day my son had enough and i witness it in my own eyes when it happen. He said to my son," go fix my bed , clean my bathroom once your done i'll go up and check and clean up my back yard pick up the dog sh*t and collect all the garbage in the house and throw it " that is his exact word while my son scrubbing the window. And my husband 21 yrs old son His job everyday is sitting watching tv. Playing the computer, eating and playing again. My son become upset he close the door a little bit harder that it make him so mad and i was there cleaning the dishes. He follow my son outside the house and kick him on his chest slap him. It really breaks my heart. I cant stop crying. I had 2 little girls from him. They are 5 and 1 year old. I just need your advice.

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Ariana - posted on 07/21/2013

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If your husband kicked and slapped your son that is NOT okay. The other stuff can be talked about worked out etc. but physical violence, especially towards a 9 year old, is way to excessive.
You are talking about what your husband did like you had nothing to do with it, you are his mother so you're allowing your husband to make him keep everything perfect, and talk to him like this.
I personally think you should leave somewhere, at least until this gets resolved somehow or there is some sort of therapy or intervention. If he gets this upset now at your 9 year old for slamming the door imagine when your son is 15. What would your husband possibly 0do to him as a teenager where he will certainly rebel at some point?
It's easy to say leave but a lot of times people don't, if for some reason you really just aren't going to take the first piece of advice then I would try to get into some form of Family Councelling.
It already sounds like there's a weird dynamic between your husband and your son, but this is rippling out to everyone. Your whole household needs to be willing to change the dynamic and work together, especially the two parents yourself and your husband. If your husband isn't willing to go with you then I would leave. There are many spots that have a sliding scale if that's an issue, and it's okay to look around for the right person for your family.
This is definitely something that needs to be talked about and changed. You are these children's mother, and basically a man has now hit your oldest son and brought chaos onto any other children who were around to witness it, or witness the after-effects of these actions.
I strongly suggest finding a Family councellor who you feel comfortable with to help with this issue, and possibly for you to leave, especially if anything else happens.

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 07/21/2013

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You are your sons protector and you can not watch this abuse any longer! Do you realize how terrible your son must feel inside and how low his self esteem must be? Just hearing this makes me so pissed off And my hearty physically aches for this child. There is zero other advice except leaving. A man that could treat a child this way is a damn monster and isn't possible of saving. Your poor kiddo needs you to be his mother and be strong for him. Someone would have to kill me before treating my kid that way. Your son does not deserve this and I'll more than gladly take him if no one wants to stop this man from letting him treat this little boy like an animal. I bet your son sees you just as guilty as your husband even though you personally don't cause the abuse , but you stand there and let it happen. This kid is going to have some serious issues and could possibly even try to commit suicide or run away from home at the very least. I know that as a mother I have instincts to protect my kid and it's my job to do so as well. No matter how hard it might be for you financially, mentally, or whatever reasons you stay , if you want to be a woman that deserves to be called mom then you must leave for your kids sake ( and were suppose to always make our babies first priority, right. ?)

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