my son

Billy - posted on 01/07/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi All! Just joined, all brand new to me, but having done a little bit of research I think my 9year old son may have a trait of adhd. He is not able to concentrate for long periods of time without jumping up and pretending to score goals, leap from one sofa to another or generally talk nonsense! He does not follow simple instructions and I have given up on asking him to tidy his room because he throws dirty clothes etc in a bundle in his wardrobe and behind his beds and chairs etc. Any advice of where to start would be fantastic, he was put on report last year at school because of messing about in the lessons and not being able to organise with homework, spelling tests and general concentration.


Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016




It sounds like pretty typical boy behaviour. Boys are active. They struggle to sit still for long periods of time (what is your definition of long periods of time?). They struggle to follow too many instructions at once - one instruction at a time. They need reminders. They need clear structure, boundaries and consistency.

What sort of extra curricular activities is your son in? Is he playing sport both in and out of school? Both organised and just generally in the back yard? Is he spending time being physical?

Set up a list of his responsibilities each day. I had to do this for my son around this age. Even now (he's 18), he's a bit vague and needs reminding and direction. What I did when he was younger was had a list on the back of his bedroom door - one list for what he had to do before school, one for what he had to do after school. Both lists were in numbered steps. They were as detailed as "change out of uniform and put it in laundry" and "clean all clothes off floor and place in laundry". He was able to follow instructions that were numbered and explicit.

Does your son have a school diary? One thing we did was went through our son's day with him, and went through what homework he may have. We set up his desk area with a whiteboard and pinboard that also helped with this, so each day we could write up his daily homework right in front of him and rub it out when he was done.

You won't have to do it all for him forever, it is really just establishing good habits. Once he is in the habit of making these lists and using his diary, he will use it without you. But initially (and for quite some period of time), you will need to help him organise himself.

BTW, my son is not ADHD. He's just a boy.

I would suggest a good read is "Raising Boys" by Stephen Biddulph (I think that's how you spell it). This book saved my sanity at times when I simply could NOT understand what planet my son was on!!

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