My son almost 15 and he lie a lot

Connie - posted on 04/29/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi Moms, I have a son who is turning 15 in October, he respect a lot but he have a problem of lying, I am not sure if maybe I shout a lot so he cant even admit something to me, he used to tell me when he brought change back at home after school and if he didn't spend it all, but he drastic changed and hide money from me, I also cant chat with him, if he did something wrong I don't talk to him, and I need way to address our issues.

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Michelle - posted on 04/29/2016

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So what have you done about his lying?
What consequences have you given him?
Maybe he's going through a lot at school, have you thought about getting him to see a counselor?
Really we don't know what is going on but obviously something is. You need to get the lines of communication back open with him. Let him know that you won't get mad if he tells you the truth.
I have had to do this with my boys. It's hard to not fly off the handle when they tell you something but discussing things calmly get you a lot further. They will be more confident in telling you things if they know they won't get yelled at.
I have had my almost 15yo come to me and say that he can talk to me easier than anyone else, including his friends. I think that is an achievement.

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Jodi - posted on 04/29/2016

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And if the money is for transport, ONLY give him enough for the transport and no more.

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2016

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Um.....beat him up??? As in hit him?

And coming home at 11pm? Why? How is that even allowed?

Connie - posted on 04/29/2016

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Thank you moms, I hardly beat him up but one time he came back home 11:00pm that day I had to beat him up, this morning I asked him to write down things that he don't like when I do them and other side he must write what he like when I do, and I will do the same and we will exchange this list and read it, but I am not sure how to discuss this further, he wash dishes when he got home, he cook rice, but when it comes to wash his school sock I have to always remind him, he list to play outside till late sometimes. so ignoring him when he has done wrong wont help me?

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2016

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You need larger consequences for lying that for being truthful.

Why are you giving him money? Stop giving it to him if he is lying about it. Consequence: make your own lunches.

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