My son blames me and my husband for his cutting

Sandy - posted on 12/30/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son had to be put into a treatment center for cutting, He blames my husband and I for being to much on his butt when it comes to school and everyday life, he's adhd and has had 2 seizure sense April , he came into our life's at age 5 he's in his last year of school and just wants to have phone and play exbox, we try to tell him how this last year is important , but it back fired he just hates us and we now walk on egg shells .what to do


Jodi - posted on 12/30/2015




You have done the right thing - he is in a treatment centre. I am assuming he will be there for a while. His treatment will include learning to face up to his actions and owning them (I hope!!) rather than blaming everyone around him. Cutting is often about control. He feels his life is out of control and this is one way he can control what is happening to him. It's also about pain - emotional pain. Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain, so sometimes, that is why people cut.

You are right in trying to encourage him to finish his school, but this is where you may need to pick your battles. Is it really the end of the world if he doesn't finish? I see lots of kids not finish school, and while they have to learn the hard way, they end up working it out. Maybe rather than pressure him into finishing school, focus on what he wants to do instead. Let him know xbox and sitting around home are not options in life. If he chooses to quit school, he needs to take responsibility as an adult, which include contributions to the household, like all other adults in the house, both financial and chores. Sit down and have a discussion with him adult to adult, rather than parent to child, and see if that will get you anywhere.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms