My son Goes to see his Dad once a week over night. When he come back he refuses to call me mum and my mum Nan. he Calles my mum by her 1st name and me mean. When around his fathers family they out rightly call me names in front of my son and take him off of me like i am not aloud to be near him... telling him he wants his dad NOT his mum... Need advice on what to do?
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â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 01/14/2013
Stand up for yourself. He calls his Nan by her name, because that's what he hears at his dad's. He calls you mean for the same reason.
you need to firmly tell him that it is not ok to call Nan by her first name. It is disrespectful, and Nan hasn't given him permission to call her by her given name. And keep reminding and reinforcing that.
Same with how you are treated. Firmly tell him that you are not "mean", you are "momma" (or mom, mommie, mum...) and that he needs to remember to call you that. Or make up another nickname that he can use for you. (For example, my son called my husband Bubba)
and stop hanging out around his father's family! It sounds like you're not together, so why let them belittle you and poison your son? But, you do need to tell them that they are not allowed to speak degradingly to you (ever, not just in front of your son), and that you will take steps to remove their access to him should they choose to be petty about it. When they try to grab him from you, politely (the first time) but firmly resist. Something like "No, Jimmy will go to his father when he's ready", or simply "Please leave my son alone"
Do you have visitation arrangements through the courts? Or are you just doing it on your own? If it's thru the courts, you should be able to get an addendum to the orders regarding how you are treated, and who is allowed around your son. If you are doing it on your own, I recommend you take it to court, and get a court order. That way, it's binding on him, and you have more fighting room
Cassie - posted on 01/14/2013
shawnn Thank you so much. the only reason i was around his fathers family was because it was his 1st birthday party and they were invited by my mum too keep the peace as such. We havent been together since My son was 6months old, due to arguments and all the stress caused by his in ability to put me and his son before his athletics or xbox.... I told His father to put him down at his party, as he had been sitting on his lap and not aloud to move and got a load of abuse from him and His mother. Your advice has been so helpful.
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