My son has a bad temper and I don't know what to do besides a tiime out to discurage his bad behaviour. Any body have any suggestions?

Nicole - posted on 08/11/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My son has a bad temper and has a tendency to throw things and kick and bite when he gets angry. I am no longer with his dad, and I have found it very hard to get his dad to help out with this. I dont know what to besides put him on a time out and these are really not helping anymore. He is only 2 but I want to stop the behaviour before it gets any worse than what it is now. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know


Jenni - posted on 08/12/2011




It's pretty common for 2 year olds to react to feelings of anger with 'aggressive' behaviours. I use the term aggressive loosely because it doesn't mean you have an aggressive child just that he lacks the language to express his emotions. Some children may react to strong emotions more introvertedly, while others will react extrovertedly. As well as some introverted children may react extrovertedly at times and vice versa.

So now is the perfect time to start teach him how to appropriately deal with his feelings of anger and frustration.

Teach him how to identify his feelings by pointing them out to him with words. "I see you're really angry right now." After you remove him to a quiet safe spot. You can also put his positive emotions and your own emotions into words. To encourage empathy and identify his own emotions and other's emotions.

Remove him from the action or situation to a calm place he can calm down. You can call it his 'reflection spot' or 'his quiet time spot'.This will remove him from the situation (stop the behaviour), ignore the negative attention seeking behaviour and give you an opportunity to discuss the negative behaviour when he is calm and how to appropriately deal with feelings of anger/frustration/sadness.

When he is calm, you could say: "I see you're really mad that.... but we don't kick/bite when we're mad. We use our words and say "I'm really mad right now!!"

Remember to keep your own calm and model how to appropriately deal with these strong emotions. Count to 10 when you're angry, take your own timeout, breathe through your anger to teach him how we deal with it. You could also practice these techniques with him when he is angry.

These sort of behaviours are rarely nipped in the bud. They evolve into appropriate reactions to anger with gentle guidance, patience and consistancy with maturity. At the 2 year mark children lack much impulse control. He will slowly improve over the following year with your guidance. When he's 3 you'll be able to look back and see how much your efforts have done in curbing his negative behaviours, changing them into appropriate reactions to strong emotions.


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Emma - posted on 08/12/2011




Welcome to the terrible twos. Although you feel time out is not working keep at it, it comes down to keeping it constant.
He is tasting the boundaries and now is the time to keep them steadfast. Not saying its easy but he will grow out of it

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