My son has sticky fingers

Ray - posted on 05/26/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

85

0

0

My son is 15 now and 6'6. The first serious problems I started having with him was about 3 years ago, where he was caught in possesion of weed on school property. The odd part is I never figured out where he got it from because I don't smoke and don't associate with people that do. He ends up with a felony on his record and no sooner then I am driving him all around town to try diversion, he ends up getting busted again but this time stole prescription narcotics from home. I guess that was my fault for not keeping them in a safe. Since then of course I have had a lock on my bedroom door. In addition he has grown to steal things of value and either give them or sell them to his friends. He steals food from the fridge and takes it to his friends house. One time my spouse was house sitting and Chico was there and ended up taking a hammer to their stainless fridge because he was intrigued with better understanding the strenght of stainless steel. Recently I had a long talk with him about how he probably needs ADHD medication like I take, which could explain some of his acting out. So he stole my meds, again my fault for leaving them out. I have had computer SD cards stolen off my computer desk among other small things of value.
What rips me is that those discs contained irreplaceable content like that of music that I write and had no other coppies of. I had enough, I knew I needed to do something, I have tried grounding him, punishing him, nothing works. He has this Toshiba tablet that he has been sporting for months now and claims that he is just borrowing it from a friend, or is that just an excuse so that its one less thing for me to take away from him in leu.

So he always takes the tablet to school but leaves the charger here at home. So I confiscated it, and made it clear to him that I know he stole my SD cards and its going to cost about $21.00 to replace them, of course even at that I have still lost the content. Anyhow, I will be coming up with a deadline in which he needs to surface with the money or I will sell the charger. So there is a knock on the door tonight and its the friend of which has loant him the tablet. She of course is very upset and is demanding her charger back. I explained thats not going to happen until Chico surfaces with the money that he owes me for things he has stolen, as I'm telling her this I'm looking in her eyes and wondering how much of my stuff including food has made it out of my house and into her house. It's apparen't that he steals from home and uses the stolen gifts to win over his friends. I only say this because I seriously doubt anyone would want to be his friend knowing that he likes to shoot out big screen tvs with a pelet gun and take a hammer to stainless appliances.
This girl trys to give me an ear full and is explaining to me that my son is a wonderful person and I really shouldn't take things out on him just because I'm a failing parent. I explained to her that this whole ordeal is real simple, she trusted the wrong person with her belonginings and that it really has very little to do with me, I think any parent would take the stance that I have in this. This is NOT my fault, its hers for not really knowing who she was dealing with to being with.
The fact that he sent her to my door tells me that he is to lazy and has no intention of raising the funds. His excuse is hey, you took that charger and it wasn't yours. I agreed, just like how my meds, equipment and food was taken by him which also was not his to take.
The moral of the story is that people hate to have done to them, what they do to others.

2 Comments

View replies by

Ray - posted on 05/27/2013

85

0

0

No Jodi, of course I did. He was required to go through counseling and was repeatedly tested and always came up negative. It would appear that he was only interested in drugs for the value of them, and not the use. He did however get caught the second time for possession and under the influence, but since then has been thourghly checked out and hes not doing drugs. It was of course the first worry I had back when he got his felonies but he has been clean. It would appear that he is either interested in the street value or friends he is able to gain as a result of having them.

Jodi - posted on 05/26/2013

3,561

36

3907

Has it occurred to you that the reason he is acting out and stealing could mean he has a drug problem? I mean, he's stolen your meds, he's been caught with weed, he's stealing things and not returning them (probably selling them), he comes up with a tablet (which clearly costs money) that you didn't pay for, destructive and aggressive........ red flags anyone? I'd be investigating the drug side of things.

The thing with the charger and the SD card? That's a petty game in comparison to what the issue really seems to be. You need to focus on the big picture rather than playing games with him.

Moral of the story, you need to wake up and look at the real issue here. Not once did I hear you being particularly concerned about his drug habit other than that he took yours from you. Did you not even wonder WHY?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms