My son hates me because i cheated

Dora - posted on 04/07/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My name is Dora I'm 38 years old I lived with my ex for 23 years I have always been the head of house hold. My ex was in and out of jail never worked abused me and was very controlling and cheated on me multiple time at one point giving me a STD. I met some one who showed me to love my self and get out of a relationship full of Abuse i can think of one time i was happy with my ex. I stayed because i wanted my kids to have both parents. I had told him to leave many times i lived in my house which i payed all the bills i know i did not do the right thing by seeing someone else but i just could not get my ex out. He caught me told my kids my 15 year old son hates me. He has hit me spit in my face thrown things at me. Spray painted my house, damaged my car. He beat me up so bad in 12/15 that i could not walk and i still forgave him and took him back in i just now had a resent incident where he was not getting his way and got violent again. I love my son and it hurts but he does not love me I don't know what to do. I have tried to explain things but he does not want to hear me out. My ex encourages his behavior towards me . on the other hand my daughter is only 10 and has way more maturity and understands me what do i do my safety and my daughters is at risk

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Cynthia - posted on 04/08/2016

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Wow Dora, it is not good to be in a violent relationship!! I know my Dad was at times very violent with my Mother. There is a great article I read online. It is found at http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/d... It could be very dangerous for you or your children. Because of my Mom's experience I know it is extremely important!

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2016

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Maybe for him to realize he needs help you need to press charges. Sometimes you have to be tough for people to realize they need to change their ways.
Like Dove said, your son has been living with the situation for 15 years, he thinks it's normal for men to treat women like that.
You can't change the past but you can change the way you allow yourself to be treated in the future. You don't want your daughter thinking that a normal relationship is the one you have had.

Dove - posted on 04/07/2016

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Call the police and press charges against your ex being violent. This is the environment your son has grown up in and both you and your ex have taught him that this is the way women are treated (him by doing it... you by staying). I'm not sure how you can undo 15 years of emotional damage to him, but if your son is also being violent towards you... he should also face legal consequences for his actions to protect not only you, but also your daughter.

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Dora - posted on 04/07/2016

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Yes I have reported the abuse but my heart does not allow me to press charges. I tried to get him help but he refuses

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2016

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Your son needs help, he needs to get his anger under control. If his Father is like that and encouraging him then it's hard.
Your and your daughters safety is more important though. As hard as it may be, you should look into getting a restraining order. Have you reported any of the abuse?

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