my son is 21 months and he will not give up the pacifier at naps and bedtime, help!

User - posted on 10/22/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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he will forget about it during the day but really when it comes to being tried, or naps, bedtime, or just because he will find it and put it in his mouth. what can i do to break him of this?

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Jennifer - posted on 03/31/2011

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You don't have to 'break' your child of the pacifier. There is an easy way to do it. It may be more time consuming but in the end it's way more peaceful than breaking them and making them CIO.



At the height of our usage, my son had 4 at bedtime! - one for the mouth, one to squish in each hand, and an extra in case he lost track of the first one in his bed. People suggest putting holes in them or cutting off the tops but my son kinda did that on his own as toward the end he started chewing on them and putting tiny holes in them - which didn't deter him at all. Anyway, we started replacing the broken ones but then the small holes became tears and we were, obviously, worried about him choking so we continued to replace them (by this time we were down to 2 then 1 pacy from the 4; probably in the span of 2wks at the most). As he 'broke' the pacys, we had *him* start throwing them away in the garbage to get a new one. A couple of rounds of this (ie, when we were having to replace pacys once a week or less!), we then took about 3-7 days working up to 'Ok, when this pacy breaks and we throw it away, you're gonna be a big boy and you won't need it any more.' The day came. We were SIIIIIICK with worry but he threw it away, said goodbye, went to bed, hesitantly asked for another but we reminded him the didn't need it anymore, kiss goodnight, go downstairs, STARE at the video monitor... And were completely shocked that with maybe only one tiniest of whimpers he went off to sleep! We were so worried about what would happen we never dreamed it would be so easy!



You *have to* let them feel in control. Don't force their hand, encourage them to grow with the transition and feel confident in their ability to let it go. Letting them have a part in the transition is truly the best way, whether you collect them and mail them to the other babies, go through a throwing away process like we did, or whatever you choose. It shows them that they can be big and confident.



But that's just my opinion. :)

Diane - posted on 10/22/2009

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My daughter loved the Binky like it was her life, she finally gave it up, she was three. I do not believe in forcing them. He will give it up eventually. obviously it is his security. They are not little very long... He won't have it in Kindergarten or College. I would not push the issue. Do you think it would be scaring to him ? Your the only one who knows him... Think about it. I think, that babies should be allowed to be babies. Good Luck. Breaking them of the Binky is no easy task...

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Victoria - posted on 03/31/2011

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My son gave up the binky on his own aroound 10 months but when I stopped breastfeeding after a year he found his thumb! I waited until he was about 3 to 4 and we worked on getting him to stop sucking his thumb. Unfortunately you cant just throw that away! :) So at night I would put socks on his hands and told him that if the socks stayed on his hands all night he would get a sticker on his calender. He did really well. And it took about 2 months but he finally stopped sucking his thumb at night. My daughter on the otherhand was completely different. She didnt want to give up the binky. I waited until 2 or 2 1/2 to try and take it from her. We had a talk about the Binky Fairy who comes to collect binkys from big kids to give to babies. You really have to make a big deal about it and believe it so they will believe what you are saying. So we made a special box to put all the binkys in and the next day she got a very special present from the Binky Fairy! She was sooooo excited! The only downfall (which was actually too cute) is that when she couldnt find a toy or something of hers she would say that it must of went to a baby who needs it! Too Sweet! We also gave her a lovey to sleep with at night for a few weeks or so before the Binky Fairy came so that way she already had something to comfort her in place. And this is something really fun for those of you who are crafty!

Also, the dentists that I have spoken with says that as long a they stop sucking on their thumbs or binkys by 5 that it should not cause any problems with their teeth.

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Both my peds doctor & the dentist said "don't worry she won't go to college with it." They are right, my 3 yr old calls it her "bing bing" and god help us if we can't find it at night! My doctor said she will most likely give it up on her own.

Jennifer - posted on 03/31/2011

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@Diane Morrell: I could not agree with you MORE!! I think we worry about them using pacifiers becasue *we* don't want to be judged by other moms instead of doing what's right for *this* particular child or *that* particular child.

Courtney - posted on 08/18/2010

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My son is pushing 3 and still uses his paci for naps,bedtimes and really bad moments. I've talked to his pediatrcian and dentist and both agree that as long as we break him at 3 this is perfectly fine and is not a physical problem only a problem to others with opposing opnions and not to worry.

Rosemary - posted on 10/27/2009

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All I can do is share my story-my son is just over two and still uses it the same as your son. He says goodbye to it each day before school, but goes to find one when he gets home (or in the car). At night I go in and take it out of his mouth while he's asleep.

I asked my doctor about any concerns on this and she said that it would be worse to take away something he needs and have it be replaced by a thumb which you cannot remove. I am thrilled that my son has never sucked his thumb, so I have decided to focus on potty training and then return to the pacifier removal. Potty training happens to be going fabulous!!Also, the nanny show suggests a paci fairy - that's an idea...

Karina - posted on 10/22/2009

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Actually, my little boy also will behave that way... Looking for his pacifier and eat it even not during his sleep etc. I didn't do it on purpose, but you can try this. I thought of getting him a new pacifier with design, so cute. But he refuse to take it, maybe the nipple was different, he not used to it, I'm not sure. He just refused to eat it and always cry to sleep. After like maybe 2-3 days, I got him back his old type of pacifier but he throw it away and not wanted it anymore. From that day onwards, he go without his pacifier and he was about 15 months.

[deleted account]

It's best not to force them, often they start sucking their thumbs and is worst.

talk to him about it; explain why it be better if he didn't suck it as much; show him his beautiful teeth and show him how important it is to have healthy teeth.

Help him forget by putting it away, have it not handy, make a cutting fot it to have a different sensation or get a new bed companion like a toy or blanket.

Goog luck!

Amber - posted on 10/22/2009

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My son was really hard to break from his binky too. He will be 3 in april 2010 so a few months ago we tried the process again (we tried when he first turn 2). He cried for a few nights and screamed for a few days and we realized that he just wasnt ready to quit cold turkey so, in the morning i would ask him to put it in the sink so i could wash it bc it was "yucky" from nighttime and he would and forget about it until he got sleepy for a nap. So i would find some other way to pacify him so to speak..let him watch tom &jerry until he fell asleep etc... nighttime he would be allowed it back. It was a slow process but during the day he quit asking and only wanted it at night. Of course he put up some protests during the day but those are easier to handle than a child screaming in the middle of the night for hours. To break from the binky at night we gave him a sippy cup with a soft spout and with only a lil water in it. He doesnt like water so i suggest putting something in the cup he may not really like the taste of. For my friend she used V8. There of course is concern about teeth and certain things being on them over night so u have to choose wisely or brush his teeth again while hes sleep. I hope u find an easy way for the both of you!

Tammy - posted on 10/22/2009

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No easy way out. Lose it for good! My daughter was 3 1/2 years old with the pacifier in her mouth, not really sucking on it, just holding it there. When I "lost" it, she "found" her thumb. Neither are easy habits to break. Good luck, be prepared for crying. Its best for his mouth to stop it now.

Carla - posted on 10/22/2009

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They say dont even worry about taking it until atleast 3 years old but I find this hard to believe, I think 2 is the limit. I am going to be having this same dilemma b/c my son is 15 months and takes his paci at nap time and bed time, he really doesnt mess with it while he is up and about during the day. I dont want to break him of it right now b/c I am getting ready to take the bottle from him, and that task is pulling at my heart strings as it is, I cant do both at once. I think I am going to let him keep it until atleast 2 years old and then worry about that task when it comes to hand.

Laurie - posted on 10/22/2009

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I am a grammie to 5-4 of them 4 and under....when the kids were ready to break them of the passies they took them from them and replaced them w/a favorite toy or doll. There was the slip where they would find one or take the babies but it would be kindly taken and put away, replace w/that favorite toy and if there is crying we just smiled and bared it.......

Linda - posted on 10/22/2009

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My son caught a cold, (7 months old) and while he was all stuffed up, he stopped using his paci. I got rid of them, and he never looked for them again. Every now and then at daycare he will see one, pick it up put it in his mouth, but nothing comes out, so he drops it. He's now 15 months old. :)

Ashley - posted on 10/22/2009

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My daughter was nearly 3 and a half before I was able to break her of her pacifier at night. I used a system of rewards for her. For a full week I talked to her about giving up her pacifier. That Friday I took away her pacifier. I told her that if she could go all night, she could have ice cream the next day. That Saturday I took the pacifier away. I told her that if she went the whole night without it, we would take a special trip out the next day. That Sunday I took away the pacifier. Her reward was a new stuffed animal of her choice - something she could be proud of. She went all three nights without a fight and has never gone back. One year later, she now sleeps with that exact suffed animal rather than the pacifier.

Magnolia - posted on 10/22/2009

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Cold turkey is the way to go. There is really no way to "wean" a child off the pacifier because everytime you give it to him, it reinforces the fact that he can have it and he will cry longer and harder the next time you say no. I was fortunate enough to have lost my baby's pacifier at Wal-Mart and I just refused to buy another one.

Beth - posted on 10/22/2009

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Throw it away.. yes he will miss it a few nights, but the longer you let him keep it the harder it will be to get it away from him..and if he isn't looking for it in the day time.. thats a good sign he doesn't need it anymore.

Emily - posted on 10/22/2009

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I just broke my almost 2 1/2 yr old of his paci. What I did was I cut half of the rubber nipple part off of all his pacis when he wasn't looking. At first, he would put them in his mouth and try to suck on them, but since it wasn't the same he would put them on the floor and forget about them. Bedtime and naptime were the hardest. He cried and thrashed for about 30 min before falling asleep. After 3 days, he would only cry a few minutes before going to sleep. After a week, he helped me throw them away in the garbage. Now we're about 2 months out and while he still remembers what a paci is, he doesn't cry or ask for it anymore. Start on a Friday night, commit to it, and trust me...it will be over before you know it! I regretted why we let him keep his paci for so long...I was just dreading the process, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! Good luck!

Tamra - posted on 10/22/2009

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have him help you collect all the ones you can find, put them in an envelope and tell him that you are mailing them to another baby because they need them. maybe there is someone you know who has had a baby recently you can say you are going to give them away to them.

We happen to be on vacation around my daughters second birthday and we told her that Mickey Mouse was going to give them to other children who needed them, she bought it and we left Florida with NO pacifiers.

Rachael - posted on 10/22/2009

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Unfortunately, there is no easy way to do this. My son was off the pacifier at 4 months. We just threw it away. He cried himself to sleep for 2 days and then he eventually forgot about it. We did the same thing with his cup. (didnt thow it away just quit giving it to him at bed) and the same thing happened. Its really hard to listen to them cry and it will break your heart but you are doing the right thing. What ever you do, do not replace it with something else. Good luck!

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