My son is 5, almost 6, Baby #2 or not?

Amber - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 5 year old son, he will be 6 in less than 3 months. I've wanted to have baby #2 for awhile now, but had MAJOR issues with his father, breakup, then later got a new relationship and in the last few months my man (not his dad) and I purchased our own home. Anyway, I'm wondering what ppl think about us having baby #2? Is my son too old for a sibling? Or do you think it's ok? I'd like others opinions.. :)

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Amber - posted on 07/19/2012

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Well, My brother is 4 years younger than me, and my sister is 14 years younger than me. So I understand what your saying, Elizabeth. My sister and I don't have a very good bond, but my brother and I are pretty close. I've wanted another baby since my son was real little, honestly wanted 3 total. But with everything that came up in life since his birth, I didn't feel that it was the right time. But everything seems to have settled and is calmer now. But I'm afraid that if I were to have another it would just upset everything, and I don't mean like restless nights and bottles upset everything. I worked in a daycare for years to help with my urge for another baby. But that only helped for so long. But my man isn't ready for a child yet, see my son isn't biologically his and he doesn't seem quiet ready to have a baby yet ( even tho he is 31yrs old, lol). I do know that if we don't have another before my son is 7, then I don't want to have anymore even if it interferes with my original wants and dreams, that gap just seems too big. I am just curios to what others think and wanted to hear everyones side of the story, per say... lol. Thank you ladies, so much. :)

Elfrieda - posted on 07/19/2012

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Well, I've heard that when the children are 7 years apart or more, it's like they are two only children, so it would still be beneficial at your son's age, who is younger than that, to have a little brother or sister.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/19/2012

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Nobody can answer this question for you. There will be people on both sides of the fence.

I can tell you that there are people who have children 15 years apart...it's different then having your children all together...I have 3 little girls and they are each 2 1/2 years apart in age (1, 3 1/2, 6). I love having them close in age. They grow up with the same parents per say ..what I mean is we aren't worn down by parenting for 20 years ..or a different age ..as you would be if you had children 20 years apart. When people do that it's like having a 2nd family because the first child bonds like an uncle or aunt would with their younger sibling..they are probably not living at home any longer and haveing a family of their own.

That said I come from a family of 4 children myself and I am the oldest. I was 5 when my next sister was born...I was INCREDIBLY jealous..it was really hard on my parents ..but then they had the next baby and things got easier. My brother is the youngest he is 12 years younger than me....we are not very close..I moved away to go to University when I was 18 and he was just 6 years old. I was kind of like a 2nd mom for him and he spent the summers with me in Canada.

So you see, it's up to you how you want it to be. Are you going to feel fulfilled if you don't have another baby? Will you always want another? Are you ready to go back to diapers, bottles and being up at night? All of which are temporary things.

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