My son is acting inappropriately!

Rebecca - posted on 09/05/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 9 year old son is acting inappropriate when he's with females. He tried to pull his 12 year old sister's pants down, and his sister complains about him trying to go under her shirt/dress/outfit/swimsuit and trying to touch her boobs. I'm worried about his behavior at school, the teachers are on strike so school won't start, but he's going to grade 4. In third grade, he started imitating adults kissing and calling girls names like "honey" "sweetie" "baby cakes". He's learned words like sex and period and vag*na and I have no idea where he learned them from. I've always blocked channels that are inappropriate for kids under 18 on TV and I supervise them on the computer. He also likes to try to guess his sister's Facebook password and try to say something to his sister's friends. Last week, my daughter freaked out when she saw his brother lying down on the bed and trying to pretend having sex with his younger cousin. Is there any advice!?! I've grounded him, but he won't stop this behavior no matter what.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/05/2014

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My first impression is that he's mimicking behaviour. Has he been abused?

If not, then its time for serious intervention. Not grounding...

He needs to understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour, how to determine boundaries, and how to stick with them. You need to start him on 'the talk'.

(by the way, vagina isn't profanity, its an anatomical name...) You also need to make sure that YOU are comfortable with the topic. The more uncomfortable you are the less effect the talk is going to be.

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Dove - posted on 09/08/2014

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Then you need to get him into counseling to find out where this behavior is coming from and how best to stop it.

Rebecca - posted on 09/08/2014

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I've talked to him about the female bodies, and puberty, and also sex. I also told him that people's bodies are not for him to touch, and he needs to be more appropriate. No, he was never abused before. He was touching a neighbor girl's butt yesterday and I caught him. I allow his older sister to "tattle" on him at school, in case shes seen behavior from him. Lately, she's been coming home everyday and telling me that his brother is touching boobs

Dove - posted on 09/05/2014

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It sounds very much like he has been abused... but not definitely. He needs a real sex education.. at 9 years old he's certainly old enough to know some basics about sex and periods and he should have been raised knowing that girls have a vagina just as he should be aware that he has a penis. Maybe he's just curious since it sounds like you have not been educating him about the facts of the female anatomy on any level whatsoever. My own 6 year old son sounds like he has been more educated than your son and he has NO curiosity (yet... changes will happen closer to puberty, for sure) about the female anatomy because he has no need to be curious.

If talking to him about the facts of human anatomy and insisting that other people's bodies are NOT for him to touch... period.... does not stop the behavior entirely, then I recommend you get him into counseling immediately to get to the bottom of what has happened to him.

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