My son is depressed!!

Tati - posted on 11/13/2017 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son has been in a relationship with this girl for about 1yr now.She has told him to move in with her and right away he did. It was going great at first which i thought it was cause he will tell me. Now this past couple of months He would show up to my house like during school to spend the night or something like that for like 2 days .And i figured something was wrong so i would tell him what wrong and his response will be she said she needs time by herself. So she told me to get some clothez and go to your moms house, so without argueing i got my stuff. I hate to see him him like this why does she do this to him all the time now its like every other week something comes out from her mouth that she needs space or break. My son loves her alot he gets her everything she wants she is demanding to him she tells him something and he does it. She calls him names critizes him what can i do to tell him forget her u donr need her but he doesnt want to listen to any of us that she might have someone else in her life. Cause thete is some times that she would leave him at home while she goes out with some good girlfriend of hers or sometimes stays the night with her so what is the deal. Can someone help me with this. Very desperate to find help for him. Thank u for yoyr time...

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Michelle - posted 5 days ago

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The more you try and tell him that he should leave the more he will dig his heels in and stay.
I suggest you stop discussing their relationship when you are with him, let him make his own decision about his relationship.
All you need to do is be there for him when he does decide to end it. Let him know that your door is always open but go on about how bad she is treating him. He needs to work it out for himself.

ELIZABETH - posted 6 days ago

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If he's in high school then he belongs with you at home. I'd say you belong at home. When he graduated and is an adult then you unfortunately can't say but rite now you can. This girl doesn't sound rite for him and sounds too old for him and maybe controlling. Who knows! Do you want this for your son? Just bring him home and he mite fight you on it but if he moved with her he mite be missing something at home. He's seeking attention or something. This isn't normal for a teenage boy to move in with an older girl. Good luck!

Meghan - posted on 11/15/2017

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I am sorry that you are having to watch your son struggle. I am an RN and have worked with behavioral health. A lot of times teens/young adults have low self esteems and find their worth in what other’s think of them. It’s never as easy as saying “hey this is a bad situation ignore her”. We have all been in a position where we felt so in love we didn’t see how toxic our relationship was, even when people told us it was. My advice would be to continue being there for him, building his self esteem, see a therapist, and continue trying to help him see his worth. Hopefully he will eventually see that this relationship isn’t doing anything positive for him. I hope it improves!!

Sue - posted on 11/15/2017

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Dear OP,
Well...you are the mom so tell your son he is WAY more valuable than this girl offers. Does he really thing he loves this girl? What is there to love...ask him. It could just be physical and he doesn't understand what love is. Love protects, provides, and LOVES. The way she treats him isn't how I have ever seen LOVE be. Teach him, he is in school? High school? He should be with you anyway. Take a little charge and give him some good advice...do you see her as the daughter in law you always wanted for your son? I told my kids that I have been praying for their spouses since they were babies...start praying !!! They shouldn't have to working at their relationship so hard to be together at this stage for sure!

Sarah - posted on 11/13/2017

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When an adult couple decides to live together, then they live together; period. They set up shared expenses and household duties. How old is your son? If he is an adult, he needs to find a way to either negotiate the living arrangement or move out completely.

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