My son is homeless , addicted to drugs and mentally ill

R. - posted on 09/27/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am the mother of a 23 year old son. He was once the apple of my eye. My son now goes in and out of jail or prison for stealing food . He was just released for prison yesterday . I have not seen nor heard from him. He hates me some much that he told me i kidnapped him from a hospital at birth. This story is long my son and i don't get alone . I put him out of the house several years ago . Due to his drug use , him being very disrespectful and he would not attend school. My problem with him started in eighth grade. He went to jail for having a air pistol . I quest i should mention that i was a single parent with him all of his life. I gave him everything he live a life of a rich kid . I tried to make up for his DEAD BEAT FATHER absence. However my time and work was wasted . I have allowed my son the power to shame me, degrade my name and i feel like some where i failed as his mother . I blame myself for my son being on drugs and homeless . i often question myself wondering where did i go wrong. I am often sad and angry , i beat myself up daily. I am staring to get ill and take more medication than i have every taken in my life. The pain is so hard to put in words and sometimes i feel like no one cares or understand.

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Jennifer - posted on 09/27/2014

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I am a former attic and let me tell you its not your fault as long as you did your best and you know you did your best than you did a good job we are not perfect but we try our best I have two kids and I have changed my ways and the only person to blame is me on my addiction it was no one else fault we as attic choose the drug and that drug choose us I do got to say inpatient treatment helped me out and moving away from the people I used with and cut them out of my life and if he is a attic then he is the one who is gonna want to change you cant do it for him but be there when he is ready and let him know that right there will mean a lot don't put that stress on you its not your fault one bit so don't think that if you ever wanna talk I am hear for you

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Leela - posted on 09/28/2014

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Mom you tried your best and gave him from what you described the best you could. You are beating yourself up over a child who is now an adult and is thus responsible for his own choices. You seem convinced that his absent dad and some failing on your part caused him to make poor decisions. Sorry to say but that's a crazy assumption. If that were true, only people who came from single parent homes would be on drugs, in jail etc. I'm not saying that having his dad around wouldn't have helped etc. What I am saying is that there are people out there who had both parents and still went the path your son did. Step back for a second and think. There are people out there whose parents abused them, abandoned them and are now living happy, productive lives. The difference is they realized the importance of personal choice and the fact that their life is their ultimate responsibility. Mom, beating up yourself is helping no one. I understand your pain and hurt. But you have the right to be happy and importantly you have to recognize that and stop letting your adult child blame you for his mistakes. My advice: get some counseling for yourself. Rebuild your life and if you pray, make sure your son is in your prayers every day. Your son has lost his way, but be is still able to make something of his life. And so can you with yours.

R. - posted on 09/28/2014

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Thank you so much for your reply.. I felt much better after reading your post . STAY STRONG your post gives me hope , that my son can be clean one day.

R. - posted on 09/28/2014

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You are correct i think my son was bitter at the absent father. I tried to be both parents to him. Thank you for your reply ..

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